The Other Fairy

Ch. 19

"Oh Brie. He just doesn't want to open himself up to the fact you aren't dead. I think he's scared that you will fade away again if he accepts who you are," she said softly trying to reassure me but the hurt still pulsed inside my body. "I will speak with him Brielle. He may be in pain but that is no excuse to make you upset." I rested my head on my mother's shoulder as she wrapped her arms around me once more. "I promise he does love you and I know that you are my child. From the moment I first saw you I felt a connection but I didn't know what it was until Rosalind said it." Her words helped but they couldn't get my mind off of Saul.

"I wish he cared as much about me as he does Sky," I muttered weakly as she just held me closer.

"He does, give him time," she whispered gently as I calmed. I was still in pain and angry but I wasn't sobbing uncontrollably anymore. "Now let's grab some food, we can eat in my office." She said softly.

"Can you grab the food? I don't want to face everyone right now," I asked her knowing that my magic felt as raw as my feelings did.

"Sure sweetie," she said before walking me to her office. "I'll be back in five minutes you can just let yourself into my office." I gave her a sad smile before I entered her office.

I walked over to the couch taking a seat. As I sat there waiting for my mother to return my mind drifted to Saul's harsh words. I shook my head trying to stop them from crashing through my mind but again and again they floated to the surface. Just another way to hurt her. The only words that I couldn't shake away. The words that cut me deeply right in every way I have ever felt insecure. Rosalind said I wasn't strong and Andreas made sure I knew how pathetic I was but Saul's words were what reopened my feeling of being inadequate and small. I felt so worthless.

I had been so in my head I hadn't heard my mother return until she set the food in front of me on the coffee table. My eyes looked at her and I saw her wince.

"Sorry," she said as I stared at her in confusion. "It's just your thoughts aren't usually this loud, or dark." She said softly before sitting next to me on the couch. Regret flashed through me knowing I hadn't filtered what I was feeling and so I was probably sending a lot of emotions on to her. Usually I was better at masking my most severe emotions from those around me.

"I should have had my barriers up," I told her softly going to put them up only for her to grab my hand.

"No, it's alright I just hadn't expected them to be as strong as they were," my mother said as I sighed. I turned to my food which I picked at. I wasn't hungry I was too consumed by what happened with Saul. I only ate half the salad and I could feel my mother's worry. She put her arm around my shoulders I think trying to comfort me. It helped a little but I knew I shouldn't rely on her to fix all my problems. I felt weak and I hated it.

"When are classes starting up again?" I asked her trying desperately to reject my feelings. I didn't want them right now so discussing something else might help keep those thoughts away.

"I don't think they will start up again until next week. I have to discuss several things with Luna when she arrives tomorrow as well as plan out with Saul how to correct the damage done by Rosalind and Andreas," she said simply as I frowned. I had hoped to start sooner. I needed a distraction.

"So what about me? I'm 15 and more advanced than the first years according to you," I told her.

"I was thinking you would have additional classes. So you would have the normal first year classes but then instead of a free period you would work with me or Ben," she stated as I bit my lip. I wasn't sure if having her teach me was good or not. "You can choose who you feel most comfortable around when working your magic." I saw a glimmer in her dark eyes as she looked at me discussing my future.

"We can try it but if it doesn't work I'll ask Mr. Harvey," I said softly. She nodded grinning at me. "Would it be possible for us to start the private lessons earlier?" I asked her as she paused.

"I guess we could just don't push yourself too hard Brielle," she said firmly. "You have been using a lot of magic which can be painful when you are so young."

"I'll be fine, promise," I said resting my head on her shoulder. Calmness flowed off my mother in waves as her fingers moved to my head rubbing gently. The emotional exhaustion had me drifting to sleep quickly. I hadn't felt as safe as I did falling asleep against my mother.
-
When I woke up I found I was still in my mother's arms as she was looking down at me softly. When she saw my bright blue eyes gazing back at her she smiled at me.

"Sleep well?" She asked as I nodded moving off her. I has somehow twisted my body so I had my arms wrapped tightly around her waist while I had been sleeping.

"Sorry," I apologized quickly but she just waved me off.

"It's perfectly understandable Brielle," she said simply watching as I put some space between us.

"What time is it?" I asked as she laughed.

"It's just after dinner time," she said as I groaned.

"I should probably go to dinner before my friends think I died," I said with slight sarcasm. My mother didn't say anything as I got to my feet and just gave me a reassuring look. I glanced at her once more before I exited her office.

Once I was out of her office the thoughts and emotions that had been quieted came rushing towards me. I was quick to adjust to the rapid change as I headed to the cafeteria. The emotions I felt when I left her office only intensified as I stepped into the cafeteria. I took a deep breath dialing back the extent to which my magic felt everyone around me. I walked straight to the pre-made sandwiches before heading over to the table where my friends were sitting. I didn't need my magic to notice the pity on their faces. The only one who didn't seem to pity me was Stella. Ignoring the pity, I sat down taking a bite of the ham sandwich.

"Stella, you know your mom is coming tomorrow right?" I asked cutting off Bloom who was probably going to voice the group's sadness for me which I didn't want to talk about.

"Yes, she seemed different when we last spoke. Maybe this time will be better," Stella said with a small amount of hope leaking into her voice as she spoke.

"I hope it will be too," I told her firmly before turning back to my sandwich.

"Alira, we heard about what happened," Bloom started but quickly stopped when I shot her a look.

"It's Brielle and I really don't want to discuss it. Especially here," I said my magic crackling sending a cup to the floor. I sighed in frustration as I got to my feet. "I'm going to the suite." I mumbled before rushing out of the cafeteria away from my friends.