Cordelia Goode x Reader- Traitor

The second we called it quits

However, when you actually got to the room late at night, she wasn't there and that's when everything started crumbling. You didn't question it or decide to go and look for her because you feared and asmued the worst, her being with Misty somewhere, doing god knows what. You would always find her in bed the next morning but the main difference was that she wasn't wrapped in your arms like before. 

Her blonde curls wouldn't fall losely around her pillow and your face and tickle you in the process. You wouldn't be woken up by her kisses or soft whispered love confessions, there was silence. That silence stayed for a while and things became strange between you two and at some point you started seeing Cordelia as a stranger again, someone that you didn't know or recognize anymore. Her warmth and tenderness suddenly gone out of your life as it was ripped out without a warning. 

Maybe the universe sent you a warning the day that Misty returned but you never dared to mention it at the beginning way too scared to loose Cordelia in the process. Eventually you hoped that your worst fears would come true, that you would walk in on them kissing or something, so your buzzing mind would finally calm down and all the overthinking and assuming the worst would just be stopped. 

Everytime someone knocked on the door, you hoped it was Misty and Cordelia, walking in together wanting to speak to you about them not being able to hide it any longer, that you are a nuisance and that they need you gone. You were unaware back then that all of those scenarios in your head never actually happened, at least not until after you left the academy a while later. That Cordelia didn't spend all those nights with Misty, that most of them she spent them in her office because the guilt was killing her. Her own feelings towards you and Misty consumed the usual strong and confident woman and suddenly she turned into the old Cordelia, so insecure, so unsure what to do and not wanting to hurt anyone, unaware that the silence is hurting you more than the truth. 

Eventually everyone at the coven noticed, how you would avoid Misty whenever she spoke or walked into a room or how you and Cordelia seemed so distant with each other. No more cute whispered love confessions around the academy, both of you acting all shy and goofy around each other. 

No more touchiness and Cordelia's hands either resting on your shoulders, your head or her hand reaching for yours under the dinner table. ''Ugh gross'' Madison would often say but everyone thought it was quite adorable and soft indeed. But it changed, you barely showed up to gatherings or dinner anymore because the glares between Cordelia and Misty killed you inside. 

It was like secret love confessions just through their eyes and it caused this empty and lonely feeling inside you. For a while you thought you were going absolutely crazy until Madison pointed it out. She was the last straw, her doubt at the beginning always holding you back and thinking you are just simply insane or something. But then she found you one night, sitting on a bench in the gardens of the academy. 

Her emphatetic look and the cigarette she offered, were a silent confirmation of what you feared all along. You had lost her and you had lost her ever since the blonde swamp witch walked right back into the gates of this coven. ''I think it's time for me to go Madison'' you said as you inhaled the toxic fumes of the cigarette. ''What do you mean?'' she asked a bit dumbfounded and slightly shocked. ''Leave the academy, I can't keep doing this anymore and I know she can never truly be happy with me here'' you said, tears forming in your eyes. 

''Y/N you can't just leave and set her free like that, you gotta fight for her, get her to look at you that way again and not let anyone stand in your way'' she tried to motivate you and tried to get your sense of fighting back but something within you died long ago. 

You realized that maybe Cordelia never had the purpose of being your soulmate or fixing your broken soul at the time you joined the academy. Maybe she was just a little guide on your journey of self love and discovering who you truly are and what powers you have. That night you decided to give it one more try and if it truly wouldn't work with her anymore, you would leave and accept the academy was only another temporary home with people that would stay in your life regardless, either through their actions or the memories you had shared with them.