Rinse and Repeat

Natural No More

Civvie had better things to do than play Blood. Many other things like reviewing those new releases from New Blood, them being Ultrakill and Glennwood and insult them about not making it a bundle.

But no. He had to play Blood. It was his stress reliever.

"Get on zhe-" were a Shotgun Cultist's last words before they were blasted a new one by his double barrel.

'Well, got to work on that video now,' He thought, 'New Blood should stop buying meme domains and work on making new games.'

Alright, the script's done, now it's time for the voice acting, send it to Katie and let her handle all the heavy lifting.

"...Release an Ultra-wood bundle, you cowards!" At that point, he felt lightweight. Unable to go on with the video, he stopped recording his voice.

He opened up his phone to message Katie, only to realize that moving a muscle took a lot longer than it should have. He suddenly felt as if time was lost on him. He tried looking around, but nothing from his body came to his bidding. His field of view was stretched way beyond than it should.

He felt cold.

++Hello there, young one, ++ A voice startled him, it did not instil confidence in him, ++You are chosen to become the Gamer. ++

...Wait, the Gamer? The fuck? What shitty fan fiction writer drugged him up to use this shitty excuse of a 'plot' against him?

He remembers now, the 'Gamer' stories he read for fun while looking for something to do rather than play Blood. They're kind of good, but they are so linear that he can probably know the next 2 or 3 chapters before even reading them.

++So? ++ The voice awaited an answer.

"Yeah, go fuck you," Was his response, "I don't want to go Ezymode McNoBalls who comes in and makes sure to stick his dick within every single hole there is known to mankind."

++I see... Well, there is another mode that might appease you. ++ Not even the voice was taking him seriously.

++There is a lot more than what you would see people tell stories about,++ It says, something appearing right in Civvie's vision. It was displayed, showing something that Civvie cannot see due to the proximity. He backed away and saw what was on.

HARD MODE: ON

Please choose a game mode:

-Blood

-Ultrakill

-DOOM

-Katana ZERO

And many more games. What was the difficulty in this?

Eh, fuck it. Questions for big mysterious voice later, he's got himself a deal.

"Yeah, how about Blood?"

++Very well.++

Those were the last words before he felt light-headed yet again.

...

Coldness was all he felt. He then felt indescribable agony, as he flailed around; only blaspheming to alleviate the agony he was feeling.

++Welcome, now try opening your eyes.++

Yeah, opening your eyes while in- oh hey it stopped. Groaning from the sudden spark of agony, he opened his eyes to reveal the blue sky. He realized that he was on the...grass? The shit? Where did he put him?

'Well, I knew that doing so will be useless as tits on a submarine.'

He tried to get up, only to notice he was... heavier? What is the...?