Last time

Chapter 4

"Now you could..." He was going to suggest Rick to rest a bit, but light knocking interupted him.

"Kate..." Rick's mumble of hope broke the moment redheaded woman peered through the door of his room

"Oh, it's me kiddo..." His mother's voice was now filling the room and his still visible little smile of hope leisurely faded

"I thought it was her..." He admitted in low voice, putting his head back on the pillow and returning to idle lying down on his hospital bed

"I..." When Dr. Mendiaz excussed himself and gave them some privacy, Rick tryed to spoke, but he just trailed off

"Oh, Richard..." Martha came closer to his bed, and cupped his son's hands with hers, letting him to continue, but secretly, just like any mother, she fell apart at the sight, watching her son so helpless...he was a writer who can't compose a sentence, yes that's what Richard Castle is now

"I don't wanna lose her, mom!" "mom" That was something she didn't heard for a long time, it was always "mother" But now he was calling her like he did when he was little boy, because now his eyes shine with a need of mom

"You're not gonna lose her, because she's not giving up on you like neither do the rest of us" It took Martha's best to stop her voice from chocking in sobs that were trapped in her throat

"The two of them needs you, just like you need them" Martha, consciously or unconsciously, brought up the topic of their family expansion, but Rick didn't exactly got it the way she hoped, he most likely didn't notice at all her choice of words. Or maybe he thought she was talking about Kate and Alexis?

"I...I just...I want her to be here now but when she's here I feel somewhat strange, I..." Nope it didn't sink in to her son that's he going to be a father again, probably he didn't even heard because even Martha could see he was distant in his own world, thinking God knows what so Martha gave up on that, they'll tell him when the times comes, she thought.

And just went she wanted to say him a few gentle words of comfort, his mouth opened again, this time letting a whispering voice out

"Tell me about her, mother, tell me about us, me and her" And really Martha started story telling, she was narrating her son about a woman of his life, about a woman who made her son happier than she had ever seen him before, about a woman he loved with his whole heart but now couldn’t remember her...and Castle's ears drowned at the sound of her name, Martha was making story out of it, and Rick was pinning his ears to hear every word of that story, story about him and Kate...

/Meanwhile at the precinct/

Their shifts at 12th were done for today. Kevin Ryan, Javier Esposito and Lanie Parish giving their best to try to comfort their friend as they all together rode down the elevator. But it doesn't work the way the hoped it would...No one can reach to her, yes she's here with them, in the same elevator, but her mind is racing everywhere else, not noticing any of them at all, as if she was locked in her own little world, distant for everything and everyone, far, far away from this not a bit bright reality.

"Kate, we're going with you" The silence of the elevator was broken by Lanie's voice.

"Lanie, thanks, but-"

"That wasn’t a suggestion, we’re going, too" Lanie clarified, though by her previous tone it could be noticed that she was indeed demanding it.

"Guys, really there's no-"

"And we don't take no for an answer"

Espo and Ryan backed Lanie up so Kate just let it go, one against three, what's the odds anyway? Maybe she would have fired back if the times were different, but now she didn't even try to fight back, she let it go, just like she's doing these past few days, she's just letting things go. Did Kate Beckett really surrendered? Did she really just let it all go? Did she really backed down? It seems like she did...

Most people came up against the wall, they give up, not you, you don't let go, you don't back down, it's what makes you extraordinary At first annoying writer, shadowing her around, but now the man she can't imagine her life without, he always had words of comfort for her when she was going through something or was at her lowest, but now when she needs him the most, he's not here...

They were at the parking garage, Kate doing the work of covering tears that took over her hazels, by innumerable time this day

"Damn it, Castle, she needs you" Ryan crossed over in judging the volume of his voice in opposition to
the silence that prevailed in the underground garage

"Yes, yes I do, Kevin, I need him more than ever" A broken whisper of her low voice came as an answer to Ryan's muttering

And Ryan regret it in an instant, he knew he only made situation worse with his whispering around, but now he couldn't take it back, and neither if he tryed he couldn't make Kate mood to go up, none of them could...

So they spent the ride from precinct to hospital in silence, only movments were Lanie glancing at Kate and then over the boys, as nagging  them to do something, but they were clueless just like her, whatever they try it will do no good, so the three of them, unoticed by Kate, hummed in agremnt to wait to reach the hospital and there they'll see how the things will go, and so take some actions judging current situation between Kate and Rick.

"Always" Martha finished in low-piched voice a story she started almost a hour and half ago, her son's breathing was turning in slow version indicating he's asleep now

She quietly got up from her chair, intending to leave, but when she reached the doorknob she almost bumped into a woman she had been talking about for the past hour and a half...