Unhelpful Tips of Life

Tip One: Collect And Select

Collect and select. Prolly you hear this while looking for your “the one”, destiny or forever. Honestly, you should always do this especially in choosing the persons that surrounds you. These persons affect your well-being and personality.

I remember being a class clown when I was in high school that I can change group from one to another. I can literally sit to any cliques in our class and I will be gladly welcomed. Imagine I can be in a group of the smart ones just to copy assignments and projects, be with the rich kids for free treats, join the IT girls for the latest trends and have a nice chat with the people from the back for the latest chismis. Thus, high school for me is about finding your self. Changing yourself to fit in. Changing the way you talk and living a cool lifestyle to be famous, name it I have done it.

However, high school is also a test run. A trial and error in life. No one in my family knows that I was almost to be summoned in the guidance office twice in my high school life: one, is when I went out with my friends to play computer and skipped our Science class and two, when our class was caught for a so called “cheating”. Not only that, there was also a time that I climbed the back gate for we are not allowed to go home until 5PM.

People may say that I do have a bad influence people surrounding me, however, little did they know that I am the bad influence in the group. I would be the one talking evil things to my friends to do this and that. I am that kind of person, a true devil in an angel’s face.

Fast forward, I graduated high school. My friends and I had a promise that we will still see each other every Saturday. Yet, it just happened on the first Saturday and the rest we are all busy. Some is busy just lying around their bed, others having a friend of their own and mostly are busy with the studies.

I will be honest, I feel sad at the moment. Your barkada for the longest time has no time to you. They already have a friends of their own. Those secret jokes and secret signs no longer exist. However, a person once told me: You can not dictate a person’s time, he has the power to chose where or whom he is going to waste it with. You can always look for another friends, I know it is not the same however, it is life that we are talking you gotta move on.

In that moment, trust me I did not have an epiphany and realised everything. I agreed but I did nothing of what was told. I beg for attention, I even message and text them. I am the kind of person to say Hi! and yet receive no response. Treats? Maybe, it will work. You buy them food, they gave you time. Yet, another mistake, I do not have all the money in the world to buy them anything. It only lasted a day and then there goes again, a stranger. Then, came my moment, in the time that I am ready to give up, to leave everything behind. A request was needed. I am overwhelmed by the attention, the messages and calls that I get. It even came to a point of videocall. A surprise food. This is what I am waiting for not until they ask for a favor. Do you have any idea regarding this investment? Can you compute my amotization if this is right? Can you solve this for me? That‘s it, I was given the attention for a request or favor. A typical symbiotic relationship, you need me; I need you. It was fun atleast for once I was given the attention.

Days had passed, I am still that person, the person who ask for attention. Until one day, I have exhausted myself from crying. Cry at night and work on the day. Smile. I always tell myself it is a beautiful day. It is hard to pretend that everyday you condition yourself that you are okay that it will be a good day. Everyday is a constant challenge to smile. Yet, everyday you realise your worth as a person, a human being. Slowly, you can go out on your own. You can have a hobby. You can travel places by yourself. You find joy with yourself. As you travel places, you meet people, people you did not expect to be friends with.
Yes. Travelling started as an escape from hurt. I quit my job and went to another city within the Philippines, Makati City. Started a new life. Make new memories. Mingle with the people. There I met people, who has no same interest with me and has a different lifestyle. People in Makati take their time as preciouly, a spent time is a spent peso. They are matured in thinking. On other hand, I am the bunso, the naïve person who does not know how to curse or take rage on a person.

Beginning with a simple one Hi and Hello. The casual greating from here and there until one day we are stuck in a single room. In the four corners of the room we shared experiences, stories and laughter. The four persons in that room does not even share a single interest and the only thing common within them is their license, Certified Public Accountant. In that moment, we know that we are friends.

We are not the typical friendship: we did not exchange numbers. We did not add each other social media accounts. No Messenger, no Facebook, no Instagram. We just believe that every day we will see each other. Every day we talk and laugh as if tomorrow is never promised. We just miss each other.

Then, comes the day that I have my hesitation. I have been in the same position that I would invest time to gain friendship and end up being left out. Yet, I see something that I have not experienced in the past, I am appreciated. I need no pretention; I can be who I am with them. No excuses, no treats and no exchanges just plain friendship.

It takes years that I do feel belong to a circle of friends. I do not need to come up with an excuse to bother them, they bother you a lot. I do not need to say my treat when we go out it is always, KKB, Kanya-kanyang bayad. I was able to explore Manila with them and share memories that I would treasure with them. I know that there will be a time that I have to go back to Bacolod City, yet, I know that we maybe apart but our friendship will surely last.

It maybe cliché but friends are like crystals, they reflect you as a person. Becareful what you collect for you might be busy colleting rocks while throwing all the diamonds that you have.