The Way I Feel Inside | h.s.

10

Completely taken aback by his comment, I widened my eyes and turned my body back to my closet to find a top to put on. I grabbed at the first one I could find, an oversized black Bob Marley t-shirt. 

What do I even say to that? I can't believe he just said that so casually.

Still facing away from him, I shoved my arms into the holes of the shirt, and decided to try to make a joke of it so it wasn't completely obvious that I was freaked out. "Woah, woah, woah," I pulled my head through, then picked up my damp hair to let it fall down my back. Then I turned and looked up at him with a smirk. "Bold of you to assume that two orgasms is all it takes for me to fall in love with you."

I moved past him, needing to leave that weird energy where it was. I started down the narrow steps toward the kitchen and heard Harry's steps following behind me. "I've gone and made you nervous again, haven't I?" His tone was playful as he sat on a stool at the kitchen counter. I opened the fridge to take out some food to start preparing breakfast.

I didn't answer him as I focused on getting what I needed. I turned to the stove where the cast iron skillet was, and turned the heat onto Medium. I put the eggs and hummus on the counter, then walked toward him to grab the loaf of bread and an avocado from the basket I keep them in. He was staring up at me with an amused smirk. I looked at him incredulously, shaking my head as I took two slices of bread out and placed them in the toaster.

"I'm making avocado toast. How do you like your eggs?"

He still wore his smirk, but he obliged. "However you like them is fine."

I nodded and reached over to grab the bottle of olive oil, drizzling a layer across the skillet as it heated up. I pushed the lever down on the toaster to start it, then pulled a knife out of my knife block to start cutting the avocado in half. I disposed of the pit and sliced a few lines into each avocado half.

"Bee."

I looked up at him to see his smirk was now hidden behind his hands as he was leaned forward, his elbows resting on the counter.

"Harry?" I said, trying and failing to be casual.

He moved his hands away from his face and tried to contain his amusement as he crossed his arms over one another, still leaned forward. "I didn't mean to freak you out. Your reaction is kind of funny, though."

I rolled my eyes at him and moved to crack two eggs into the skillet, enjoying the sizzling sound and throwing the egg shells into the compost bin. I opened the drawer right beside the stove and grabbed a spatula, watching the eggs cook a bit more before turning them over.

I looked back over to Harry, who was standing up and making his way over to me. I took a deep breath as I started spreading hummus onto the pieces of toast. "I'm not in love with you. And I don't want you to think that about me."

He smiled at me knowingly with his arms folded across his chest as he leaned against the counter next to me. "I didn't mean it the way that you're thinking. I meant it in the way you said it last night."

My cheeks flushed as I remembered I had in fact told him I loved him, technically. I used the same knife to peel out the slices of avocado, laying it across the hummus-covered toast. I grabbed garlic salt and black pepper from the cabinet, sprinkling a bit of each over the avocado, then used the spatula to lift up the eggs. I placed one egg on each piece of toast, then handed one to Harry. I flicked off the heat on the stove. "Continue."

He held the toast in his large hand, taking a bite. "I mean," he said with a half-full mouth, "there is a part of you that does love me. You're a fan of mine, yeah?" He took a second to swallow his food, taking another bite before continuing with another mouthful. "I love my fans, and I know they love me. Or at least a part of me. It's a great thing about being an artist."