When Life Gets Complicated. (A One Direction Fanfiction.)

Chapter 1 - Life is eternal, and love is immortal.

Chapter 1

-Rachel-

“Yes Auntie, yes, yes I know. I know, of course. I won’t. AUNTIE! I’ve been in LA before, I know my way around. I’m growing up, deal with it! I’ll just be in LA for a little while to visit Louis, Eleanor and Saph and then I’ll be back home again with you. Alright? Okay love you too. No I can’t promise I’ll fall in love again. Okay bye Auntie.” I finally ended the call groaning and shoving my phone back in my pocket. In fact, I took it out and turned my phone off. Everything was irritating me today. Actually, everything always irritated me nowadays.

Niall even told me my smile was long gone. It was true. I hadn’t smiled in ages. There just wasn’t any reason for me to smile. All of the happiness in my life had been snatched away. Those times where I used to be so happy, with the people I loved, with the friends I had…it was all gone. Everyone split up, everyone had their own lives. They all moved on, except for me.

I walked down the streets of LA…it was good to be back again. It brought back so many good memories, yet sad memories as well. LA was whether the magic happened, and it was where all the truth took place. So many secrets were finally spilled, yet even now there were questions left unanswered.

It had been two years. Two years since everything in my life basically ended. When everyone drifted away from me, changing my entire life, and taking my life away. I missed it all, of course I did. Without knowing and without appreciating what I had before, I did love my past. I loved everyone in it, and now that they were all gone, I just realized it. How lucky I was…

If only I could go back in time and change some things, so much more could have happened. So many hearts might not have been broken. Yet that’s what I did, I broke hearts, and then I was left broken myself. Karma was a bitch after all…

It had been two years since I had seen my own daughter, Sapphire. It was so sad to know that I couldn’t witness her growing up in front of my eyes. But it was the best thing for us all. I wanted Sapphire to grow up knowing that Louis and Eleanor were the ones she would look up to as parents. I wouldn’t be in the picture just yet. Sapphire still knew me as Aunt Rach, and that’s what I would remain until she was old enough to understand what happened. Two years since I’d seen Louis and Eleanor also. I missed them so much. I was so used to always seeing Louis of course. It’s crazy to think that we used to see one another every day, when I would drive him to school, and now we were miles apart. Things changed…a lot.

I changed most of all. That was the biggest part. Not only did I not smile anymore, but I was an irritating brat to everyone around me. I didn’t let anyone like me, or fall in love with me. Because I believed that I had completely lost the right to love someone. Or have someone to fall in love with me. Why should someone fall for me? All I would do in the end was break their hearts. It was something I was good at…

I didn’t understand the meaning of love. Love. I can’t lie and say I wasn’t in love once, because boy, I damn right was. I was in love twice. But the people, who fell in love with me, never should have. They deserved better and all I ended up doing was breaking them. Breaking their hearts. And never got to be with either of them. My biggest fear of all…

I hardly ever spoke of my past anymore. Just at the mention of their names, I would cringe and walk away. I loved them so much, but I hated being reminded of them. Zayn Malik and Harry Styles. The two boys I fell in love with. I didn’t know anything about them anymore. Where they were, where they went, how they were doing, nothing. I figured it would be best to just stay out of their lives forever. I ruined them once; I wasn’t going to ruin them again. But I just wanted to speak to them one last time, both of them. To see if they were okay, to know if they were successful with their music yet. I just wanted to see them. But I knew I couldn’t. No one else knew how hard it was, but me.