He always knew he couldn't have her.
He was never really in her life, just a side character in her story that was filled with other people. People she loved. She didn't love him.
He was supposed to hate her. He was raised to hate her because of who she was. Because of her dirty blood, foul heap of hair and overly large front teeth. Because she was smarter than him, and because of the people she befriended. He made fun of her, made her cry, and called her ugly names. He tried so hard to hate her, but in the end, she only ended up hating him. Then he just hated himself.
He loved her from a distance because he knew he couldn't be the one to hold her when she cried. He never got the chance to actually love her, because he was a coward. Is a coward.
Loving her broke his heart, but it also saved him from dying. She was the reason for his second thoughts. The reason he wanted to continue his life, no matter how miserable he felt. He was holding onto a thin string, but she made it stronger. She was his hope. Hope that one day he could show her how much she was worth, how beautiful she was and show her off to the world while holding her hand in his.
With tears rolling down his face, he realized that only in another life, could they have their happy ending. His happy ending. She died happy, and she was loved, more than she knew.
He hurt her because he loved her so much that he couldn't stand seeing her happy with anyone else. Not even her friends. Now it's too late for forgiveness and apologies, and he has to live with regret til the day he walks off earth alone.
He always knew he couldn't have her, but he never learnt that you should always fight for what you want, so he didn't even try.
