🍼Hey Angel \\ little Hyunjin🍼

Never could

No one's POV.:

Hyunjin had become a little in the beginning of his carreer. It helped him relieve stress that he hadn't been aware could be this bad when working in the industry. Glad that he had found his coping mechanism, he openly told his members about it after only a few months. Well, all except one. The dancer didn't dare to tell their leader about his headspace, fearing the oldest would regret choosing him for his group. He felt like he was letting the older down by not being the perfect adult he always pretended to be. Letting somebody down was something he never could, so he chose to hide his little side from Chan. His friends were really supportive and offered to care for little Jinnie from the start. Although knowing he could have a caregiver warmed Hyunjin's heart, there was only one person he would like to be around when he regressed. The members accepted that, though they were sad that they wouldn't see the dancer in his headspace because they could only imagine how cute he'd be. They also respected Hyunjin's decision not to tell Chan and since it was the only way in which they could support him, they helped him get his alone time and some privacy, so he could slip, making sure nobody, especially Chan, would walk in on him.

This arrangement worked out alright so far, at least that was what the other members came to believe. Though at some point they noticed Hyunjin's behavior had changed. He had grown quieter and often wanted to be alone, not even to regress just to be alone. He also seemed to get progressively unhappy but when asked about it, he would claim he was fine. Truth was, Hyunjin was far from fine. He felt lonely in a way none of his friends would be able to understand, so he didn't even bother trying to explain it to them. His headspace wasn't really a safe place for him anymore, as he constantly needed to take care of himself. He knew it didn't have to be that way, if he'd just ask any of his friends, they'd care for him and baby him as much as he wanted. Sadly, none of them would be able to give him what he needed though. The safe feeling, the reassurance and the comforting hugs only their leader could give. It was something nobody else ever could give the little. Yet here he was, refusing to tell Chan about it.

The members knew Hyunjin wouldn't talk to them about his worries, they knew because they had tried time and time again. One day, Jisung had an idea. He bought the dancer a diary, explaining: "If you have a hard time talking about it, maybe write your thoughts down. That way they won't weight as heavy on your chest." Though Hyunjin thanked the rapper with a smile, he didn't really plan on using it. That wasn't really his thing but a few weeks later, his head was spinning, his thoughts racing, making the boy fear his head would explode. A bit hesitantly, he sat down at his desk and opened the pink diary, Jisung had gifted him. The blank pages looked so empty, there was so much space, space he was lacking inside his head right now. He grabbed a black pen, scribbling down furiously in a desperate attempt to get the mess out of his head. On the paper the mess seemed even more chaotic as his writing became illegible, black ink smeared across the pages as he wrote about his lonelyness and the desperate need to slip but not being able to slip because either he'd be lonely again or Chan would find out. Both options seemed intolerable to Hyunjin.

When he had written his most desperate and hurtful thoughts down, his head felt lighter and his chest wider. There was finally room for him to breathe. Feeling a bit calmer now, a fuzzy feeling overtook the dancer's mind and after not allowing himself to slip for a long time, he easily accepted his headspace now. The little looked at the depressingly dark smeared pages and decided a pretty, pink book couldn't stay like this, so he turned to the next blank page and wrote with purple marker: Jinnie thoughts.

Nicknames: Jinnie, Prince, Princess, Bubby, Angel, Flower

Favorite color: pink

Favorite food: strawberry ice cream, animal crackers