familiar ; draco malfoy

CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT

But he was still cautious. Still guarded. And smarter than he believed himself to be; because if he hadn't bee, things would have played out much worse than they did. 

„Do you really think she'll listen, though?" asked Blaise, sitting down on the edge of his bed and taking a swig from the bottle. He drank like a child who hadn't seen water for a week, though he was no child and it certainly wasn't water he was drinking. With each gulp his Adam's apple bobbed violently and the whiskey drizzled down his chin and to the shirt Ray had made for him. He didn't want to take it off.

„Not likely." Draco rubbed his hands up and down his face, feeling the alcohol warming his cheeks. He was probably coming down with something as well, courtesy of the three hours he spent in the backyard hiding the day before. Blaise's paranoia chased him out of the house for the duration of his mother's gallivanting around the house.

„I'm not sure about this, mate. I don't know how to keep a secret from her. I don't know if I want to," said Blaise, glancing at the watch for the tenth time that minute. Time was barely passing by. His agony slowed the ticking of the clock.

„That makes two of us," admitted Draco, resting his chin on the windowsill and staring at the snow-covered back yard. In a moment the world became one of those Christmas time ornaments he saw piled up on the shelves in shops, the ones children shook violently in hopes of eliciting a momentary picture of an idyllic winter scenery. The snowstorm, however, was much worse than any other that winter and nowhere near idyllic. He rested his forehead against the cool glass and closed his eyes, trying to calm the storm within his mind.

„I feel bad for standing her up, though," said Blaise, even though he was the one that made the final call and decided that they were not going to go. Guilt was eating him up. But the thought of even trying to pretend everything was fine and celebrating the New Year seemed idiotic to him. He did not believe he'd survive the year, there was no reason to welcome it.

His mother had left the house three hours prior without much explanation as to where she was going; and anyway, Blaise never asked. They were supposed to meet Ramona not long after to go to her friend's house, but neither boy felt like partying. With all the information Blaise retained in the past couple of days, there was absolutely no way he could relax. Not even slightly.

„You sent her a letter, she'll understand," said Draco, who felt guilty for an entirely different reason. Because while Blaise regretted standing her up, Draco already regretted what he was going to have to do.

„Do you think she'll think we didn't want to come because they are muggles?"

„I don't know. Maybe. What did you even write?"

„I said that you were not really good company, after everything that happened the other day," replied Blaise innocently, waving his hand dismissively.

„Really, Zabini? You blamed it on me? You're the one who didn't want to go in the first place."

„Yeah well I can't exactly tell her I can't go because I'm feeling sick from everything that you've told me and I can't tell her everything you told me because you won't let me tell her anything you've told me so how could I then say-„

„Alright, mate! Merlin's fucking beard. Just stop talking, I get it. Whatever." But it wasn't whatever. Draco didn't want to lie to her. But he felt like telling her the truth meant losing her. And he was going to do everything he could to prevent that from happening.

Blaise glanced at the clock once more. Not to check what time it was, but to make sure it passed. By midnight he lay passed out on the bed, the bottle long discarded and his mouth ajar. He was barely asleep and awoke frequently, though he tried his best to attain the unconsciousness. He needed rest, though it would not come to him.