Balance || The Mandalorian [ON HIATUS]

✦ Nine

I close my eyes, extend my arm in its direction, and channel the familiar energy housed inside me, begging to be released. The Force, my mother called it. I open my eyes to watch the droid fly backwards, right into its companions. 

In a flash, more droids are surrounding me. I shrink back and look at them with wide eyes, silently pleading them not to carry out their task. A moment feels like an eternity as I wait, impending death hanging over the area like a storm cloud. The droids raise their blasters; I am falling, falling, falling...

I awoke with a start, my heart racing and chest heaving.  My eyes darted around, taking in the early morning sky, passing foliage, and little green child nestled comfortably in my arms. I exhaled in relief, knowing I was still on the speeder, safe, away from the world of my nightmares. Jedi don't have nightmares. The thought reverberated in my head until I pushed it aside, noticing Mando staring at me with a tilt of his head.

"Sorry if I woke you," I muttered, my face burning with embarrassment.

"It's alright. Are you okay?" Mando's modulated voice, normally cold and rough, sounded soft and genuinely concerned.

"Yes. Thank you."

He shook his head slightly. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." 

"Y/n-"

"Look, we're here." I cut him off, voice raised slightly. I felt somewhat guilty, but all the same, did not want to talk about what terrorized me at night. By now, Cara as well as the child had woken and together, we observed the chattering crowd of villagers who came to welcome us to their home. 

"They're here!" rang their voices, in eagerness and relief. Children rushed forward, swarming around the speeder despite their parents' best efforts to restrain them. They took great interest in the child, giggling as he observed them from up close. 

"Well, looks like they're happy to see us."

By now, the sun had risen fully and we were able to get our first real look at the village. It consisted of around twenty huts with twice that many people, as well as large holes in the ground filled with water - presumably where they farmed krill. A forest filled with tall, swaying trees encased the village, preserving it as a sort of sanctuary in the wild. 

Mesh'la. 

I wasn't entirely sure why the word had come to mind - after all, I had not spoken or heard Mando'a for twenty years, maybe more.  Regardless, looking out at this village, this sanctuary, brought back old memories. The good ones.

I snapped out of my trance when I felt a small tug on my cloak. I looked down to see the child smiling sweetly at me, cooing softly as he pointed to Mando who was speaking to a local man. "Alright, kid, let's go explore."

We caught up to Mando and Cara, who were being given a tour of the small village by a woman named Omera. Cara was given a space in her own hut, leaving Mando, the child and I together in a larger one. Part of me wondered if Mando had requested the arrangement, but I brushed it aside as a gesture for the child's safety.

"Please, come in." We followed after Omera and entered the hut, which had two cots and a crib set up for us. "I hope this is comfortable for you. Sorry that all we have is the barn."

"This is perfect, thank you." I smiled slightly at our host. Mando nodded his assent before putting down a box and starting to unpack its contents.

"I stacked some blankets over here," she continued, gesturing to the corner. 

"Thank you. That's very kind," said Mando, still rifling through the box. I bent down to help him when an unexpected noise caught him off guard. In a matter of seconds, he had his blaster aimed at the source, which was revealed to be a little girl. She gasped in fear and ducked behind the door of the hut. 

Having sensed her before she came, I placed a hand on the cool Beskar of Mando's pauldron. "It's only a kid, Mando." Omera walked over to the girl and led her into the hut.

"This is my daughter, Winta. We don't get a lot of visitors here. She's not used to strangers."

I offered Winta a brief smile in greeting. "This nice man and woman are going to help protect us from the bad ones," explained Omera to her daughter. 

After a moment, Winta seemed to be at ease. "Thank you," she whispered. Mando and I nodded in response. 

"Come on, Winta. Let's give our guests some room."

Omera left us to get acquainted with our new surroundings. Mando and I unpacked our respective belongings, placing the child into the crib where he couldn't cause any trouble. I sensed that he wanted to bring up the incident on the speeder, but was refraining from doing so out of fear of overstepping his boundaries. One tension-filled hour later, Omera returned with food for us.

"Knock, knock."

"Come in." Omera entered, holding trays with food for Mando and I. Winta followed hesitantly after Omera, hiding behind her. A smile grew on Winta's face at the sight of the child standing in his crib. The girl looked up at her mother, silently asking for permission to do something, and Omera nodded with encouragement. 

"Can I feed him?" she asked shyly. 

"Sure," responded Mando. Winta stepped forward eagerly and kneeled to feed the wide-eyed child, who gobbled down the food with enthusiasm. She giggled in response to his antics.

"Can I play with him?

Mando hesitated, looking to me for my approval. I nodded, and he sighed. "Sure." Why is this man always exasperated?  

With great care and tenderness that no one would expect from the bounty hunter, Mando lifted the child out of the crib and set him on the ground. "Come on," laughed Winta, motioning for the child to join her. 

Mando moved forward in an attempt to stop the child from leaving. "I don't think-"

"They'll be fine," Omera assured him.

"I don't-"

"They'll be fine."

"She's right, Mando." Mando seemed to relax at my words and finally relented. 

Omera stepped closer to Mando. On instinct, my hand went to my blaster, before I remembered that we were safe out here and she could be trusted. "I brought you some food. I noticed you didn't eat out there. I'll leave it here for when I go."

She was planning on staying?

"That's very thoughtful of you," replied Mando.

There was a beat of silence. "Do you mind if I ask you something?" 

"Go ahead."

"How long has it been since you've taken that off?" At her question, Mando visibly tensed, and I winced inwardly, knowing the question was deeply personal to any Mandalorian.

"Yesterday."

"I mean, in front of someone else."

Mando moved to look out of the window. He pointed to children playing outside, "I wasn't much older than they are."

In the corner, I fiddled with my fingers, not sure what to make of this interaction. 

"You haven't shown your face to anyone since you were a kid?" Omera asked sympathetically. Her eyes briefly flitted to me, then back to Mando. The motion was nearly imperceptible, but I picked up on it, shifting awkwardly. 

Feeling somewhat unwelcome, I discreetly slipped out of the hut while the two continued to talk and decided to make my way over to where Cara stood in the tall grass.

• • •

Note:

"Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum" = "I love you"

"Ad'ika" = "little one" or "daughter"

"Buir" = "father"

"Mesh'la" = "beautiful"

A/n: Thank you for 500 reads!