Don't Hold Back(BoyXBoy)

Chapter 10

With this thought in my head I turn off the shower then go to my room to change, slipping my clothes on quickly then grabbing my bag and going downstairs. Chad is sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal; I take a quick scan of the room, wondering where Caleb ran off to.

“If you’re looking for Caleb he left.” Chad declares; with a puzzled look on his face “Without saying one word to anyone too, it’s so unlike him.”

Nodding I sigh, “It’s probably my fault.” Chad raises an eyebrow, “And why would that be?”

“I think I pissed him off yesterday with something I said, but I mean he told me to go into a coma!” I argue, and then go silent as Chad starts to laugh.

“That’s just the way he is, his sarcasm could slice through steel.” Chad stops laughing then smiles up at me, “You learn to like it, it’s almost like his way of showing he cares.” I snort; well he certainly wasn’t handing sarcasm to Collin by his tongue now was he? Then I grimace as I think about it. “Why do you look so sour?” Chad asks.

Shaking my head I sit down and pour myself a bowl of cereal, “Nothing.” That’s right nothing, because if Chad found out that I was jerking off to his brother he would kill me, he would do worse than kill me, he would castrate me, cut off my legs and arms, then let me drown in my own pool of blood. God why did I have to have such a vivid imagination?

After we finish we head to school together, and immediately I head for Caleb’s locker, saying a goodbye to Chad as he heads to his own. When I reach Caleb’s locker he isn’t there, this makes me sigh and I lean against it, and then bang my head onto the metal door. Why do I need to see him all the fucking time? It’s like I don’t even need to talk I just need to be near him, I just need to know that he is there and safe. It’s almost as if nothing else matters but Caleb, and it confuses me, this wasn’t how it was before. This wasn’t how I felt before. Everything is changing, and I don’t like it, I don’t like change, I like things staying constant. Sighing I walk to Chad’s locker where he’s standing with Sadie, talking. When they see me they both wave.

“Caleb?” I ask Sadie, She shrugs, “I haven’t seen him all morning, maybe he went to the library or something.” I nod then while Chad is turned around to talk to one of his friends I whisper, “Look can I talk to you at lunch, you know, in like private?”

Sadie gives me a puzzled look before nodding and shifting her bag on her shoulder. “Yeah, why what’s up?”

“Nothing, we’ll talk later.” I promise. Then the class bell rings, Sadie kisses Chad then we head off to History. When we get in there Sadie stops in her tracks, and I can almost taste the anger that is fuming off her as she sees Caleb turned around in his desk chatting away happily to Collin. My fingernails dig into my palms, but I don’t even feel the pain. I’m just focusing on the fucking blond sitting across from Caleb, and how much I want to storm over to him and rip is fucking throat out. Clearly Sadie feels the same, but she rushes over and slaps the back of Caleb’s head in anger.

“Where the fuck were you, your brother was so worried!” She growls, at him. When he turns around the look that he shoots Sadie is so full of loathing that it has me reeling back.

“Who the fuck are you to hit me?” He asks calmly, despite the look in his eyes. Collin is just staring at me with a grin. Oh Jesus how much I would like to just beat that fucking smirk off his hideous face. Instead I just go to sit in front of Caleb then I turn around and look at him, he looks back at me.

“Are you feeling okay?” I ask simply. Caleb looks curious for a moment as if not understanding why I ask this, and then he just nods slowly. I nod back then turn away from him facing the front of the class room. When it comes time to do the class work, Caleb pushes his desk against Collins and they start to quietly work together. My heart stings at the sight but I just obey when Sadie tells me to get my ass over to her. The whole class period I can’t focus, my eyes keep drifting to Caleb and Collin. Although they aren’t flaunting their relationship in any way so that another person would know that they were really kissing each other in their cars, I knew about their relationship, and I knew what they did in their cars, and seeing them sitting their laughing and messing around made me want to kill myself. Or kill someone, something, I want to punch flesh. I want to feel bone cracking beneath my fist; I want to see blood gush out of Collin Sanders face. The thought almost makes me giddy, and I have to take a deep breath in order to refrain from laughing hysterically.