Running in the Dusk

Prologue

Prologue

I cried.

Kakababa ko lang ng telepono ko dahil tumawag si daddy at di ko na napigilan pa ang sarili na umiyak. Bigla na lang tumulo ang luha ko nang pagsalitaan niya ulit ako ng mga masasakit na salita. Simula noong nag-college ako at ngayong 3rd year ko na ay galit na galit pa rin siya sa akin.

Galit pa rin siya kasi ito ang daang tinahak ko. Galit pa rin siya kasi hindi ko sinunod ang pangarap niya para sa akin. Galit pa rin siya dahil mas sinunod ko ang pangarap ko sa sarili.

They say if you want to quest for happiness, don't be afraid to make a difference. Masaya naman ako. Kaso bakit masakit? Bakit mabigat?

But, since I am Avyanna Hazel Lopez, the optimistic, understanding, and a ball of sunshine they say... I wiped my tears and took a deep breath. This is my life, I own it. No one could ever tell me what path to take and what not to. No one. Not even my dad.

TROPICAL DESIGN

ATENEO DE MANILA UNIVERSITY
LOPEZ, AVYANNA HAZEL B.
ARCHI - 3A
MAY 10, 2023
PLATE NO. 4

Score: 89/100

I paused.

After retrieving my plate from our professor and seeing the score that I got, I froze. I expected a lot from myself. I expected a lot from that plate. I poured my everything in that. I really did my best for that plate since it was our last plate before finals. Hindi man lang umabot ng 90. Isang puntos nalang. Sayang.

Our prof never wrote some notes on my plates so I never knew what to improve. Was it my choice of colors? My designs? My interiors? Or my exteriors? Or what? I don't know.

One thing why dad never approved me of being an archi student is because of this. I feel like I've disappointed him and myself too much for not being enough. For not being good at what I do. Marunong ako, pero di ako magaling. Mediocre at best, kung sabihin.

"Di ka sasama sa amin, Vy? Group study kami for finals," tawag sa akin ni Zelle when she saw me packing my things.

I gulped hard before shaking my head. I need to unwind. Mabigat ang pakiramdam ko.

"I think I'll pass," I refused. "I have somewhere to go. Have fun on your group date, though," I gave them a small smile before leaving.

I walked. And walked. And walked. Not knowing where to go. Hindi ko nalang namalayan na napunta na pala ako sa Areté. I found a perfect spot to sit on so I did. I let myself be carried away by the wind and environment. Everything here is perfect. Parang ayaw ko na umalis. Parang tinatangay din lahat ng hangin dito ang kung anong nasa isipan ko.

Law is what my father wants. He has been on the field of politics since forever that's why he really wanted me to pursue law. The only way for the Lopez legacy to remain is for me to become a lawyer. Siguro kung lalaki lang ako ay hindi ako hahayaan ni daddy na mag-take ng course other than law.

But this is where my heart wants. This is where my life and passion lies. Kahit na pakiramdam ko hindi naman ako nag-go-grow at gumagaling.

If someone didn't push me to take this course, I never would've took it. But he did. He encouraged me, and pushed me, and believed on me. He believed on me when I even couldn't. He believed on me when others didn't.

"Tanga," I whispered on my self as I chuckled. "Bakit sumasagi sa isip mo iyan, Avyanna? Ang random mo," I wiped the tear that escaped my eye. "Kinalimutan mo na 'yan, diba?"

I sat there alone until the sun sets. Umalis lang ako doon nang malapit nang dumilim at lumabas sa campus para maghanap ng makakainan. I went to my favorite pares place and ordered for two kahit na ako lang naman ang kakain. Pares would never go wrong in my draining days. After that, I went home to my condo na walking distance lang sa university and took a bath and changed my clothes.