Everything to Me

97.

It seemed bad. Really bad.

Regulus wondered how would Sirius cope. How he would be able to overcome this... 2 losses in less than 24 hours.

Juli's parents requested to take her home and despite a bit reluctance from Dumbledore, McGonagall had agreed. James, Remus, Sirius, Peter and Lily were also given the permission to go along.

Regulus watched as they all left but Euphemia turned around once and held out her hand, asking him to come, too.

He knew that being back at school with Avery would be better but going was more important. So he did.

Back at the Manor, Juli was tucked in her bed while her parents discussed what to do next. Her friends were seated around the dining table.

Sirius hadn't cried one bit or spoken a lot. James was trying to hold back tears and had Lily's hand in his. Remus looked exhausted and very upset. Peter sat at the corner confused, unsure of what to do. And... guilty?

Regulus could feel his brain churning. It felt like it could explode. He wanted to remember what happened. Something. Anything.

"Apartment," he said suddenly.

Everyone looked at him in confusion.

"She - she said something about an apartment. I don't know what it means."

"My apartment!" Sirius exclaimed, getting up. "We need to go there. Now!"

Everyone was out of the house in an instant and with the help of side-along apparition, reached Sirius' flat.

Regulus liked it. Like Grimmauld place, it was spacious but unlike it, it was not dark and radiated positivity.

"I'll check the bedroom," Sirius said.

Regulus wanted to see the other room so he volunteered to check the other one.

"I am not sure if going to that room is a good idea." Sirius sighed but didn't stop him.

Regulus looked at the nursery in awe. It was a bright, happy room with drawings on the wall, shelves of books, even a starry ceiling.

He could picture Juli and Sirius living here with Starla, reading stories or just playing around. It was too painful an image so ignoring the heart ache, he looked around the room.

It didn't take a lot of time for the parchments on a shelf to catch his eye. He took them out as his eyes scanned over the names.

They looked like letters. There was one for both her parents, Lily, James, Sirius, Remus, Peter and surprsingly, even for him!

For inexplicable reason, Peter's letter made him angry. He didn't know why he did it or what came over him but he muttered a small spell and burned it. He didn't feel any guilt. It was like, Juli wanted him to do it.

With one cautious glance around, he walked out into the hall, holding the letters.  "Um, I found a few letters. There is one for each."

"Of course she would come here first," Sirius scoffed. "If only we had checked here." He said, taking his letter from Regulus.

"We wouldn't have been able to find her, anyway, mate." Remus said, trying to reassure him.

Regulus didn't want to think about what ifs or what could have been. It was too painful. He wasn't even sure if he could even read the letter.

Just like him, Sirius had his doubts so without a glance at it, he put it in his pocket.

Regulus couldn't do that. He felt like Juli's death had something to do with him. Like, he should know something. So asking for a privacy, he went back to the nursery and opened it.

"Reggie,
Well, if you're reading this, then it means that I am not there to tell you these things myself.
Sucks. I know.
I want you to understand what happened with Starla was not your fault. Neither me nor Sirius blame you. You shouldn't either.
Joining or not joining HIM is your decision... but I request you to not forget you morals. To remember how it feels like when one loses their family member. And loyal to him or not, I want you to stay true to YOURSELF.
Because Regulus, I have never seen a better you. Don't let some idiot with no nose take that away from me and you.
You have been my best friend and my world in ways you can't even imagine. You were the Slytherin to my Gryffindor and there is no one else I would trade you for.
I love you. Now, then and always.
Juli."

Regulus fell to his knees and sobbed. This was not what he wanted. He could not care about Voldemort. He just wanted his best friend back.

It was in that moment he decided that he would find out what had happened. What he couldn't remember.

It was in that moment that Regulus Arcturus Black decided that he would be Lord Voldemort's most loyal follower.

And his biggest enemy.