Everything to Me

95.

Sadness had engulfed Sirius. He did not imagine, even in his wildest dreams that he would come running to a scene where the love of his life was holding their baby daughter in her arms, but she wouldn't be breathing.

He wanted to show Starla the world. He wanted her to know what magic looked like and watch her sleep in her nursery. Read stories and do voices.

His thoughts were interrupted by Juliette knocking on the door. They were back at the apartment for a few days. The service was to be held at the cemetry where the Potters had a place. Sirius didn't want his pure daughter to be anywhere near the Blacks.

"Ready to go?" She asked.

He looked at himself once in the mirror and nodded. They left the house together and apparated to the cemetry.

James, Remus, Peter, Lily, Mr. & Mrs. Potter were already waiting. Dumbledore, McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey were there, too. Juliette had also insisted on Regulus being present.

Sirius wanted to blame him but he knew it wasn't his fault. Blaming him would just make it easier and give his heartache a way out.

Starla was dressed in a beautiful green dress, perhaps a little too big for her but she looked like a princess. Which she was.

Once they had gathered around, Dumbledore asked Juli. "Would you like to say something, Ms. Potter?"

She shook her head and continued gazing at her daughter. Her one arm was at Sirius' wrist and the other one held a bouquet of roses.

"You will regret it, Love." Sirius whispered softly and kissed her hair.

She shook her head again.

"Alright," he sighed and looked around.

Euphemia smiled sadly and asked him to go on.

"I - erm," he cleared his throat. "I tried to not think about all the things we would miss out on because that would just be sad... but, I couldn't help it." He chuckled humourlessly. "She is - was so tiny. But dear Merlin, she was loud!"

Everyone chuckled at that, including Juli.

"I had heard her cry maybe twice but truth be told, I wouldn't mind doing it for the rest of my life. Now.... I don't think that's possible anymore." He felt Juli move closer into him.

"I am pretty sure James was planning to teach her Quidditch," he continued. "I mean, I wouldn't blame him. With her genes, Starla would have been the best Quidditch player in the world. Maybe I could have taught her a bit myself. Anyway, my point is, there are so many things I wanted to do... things I had planned. I wanted to be the best father but... this is the truth. She's gone." His voice broke and Juli tightened her grip. "She is gone from the world, but not from our hearts. I will always, always remember her."

He had to use every ounce of energy he had to not fall to his knees and cry out.

"I am so so sorry," he heard Regulus whisper softly and wipe his eyes.

He then watched anxiously as Juli moved forward and put in her roses, followed by everyone else.

She was leaning on his shoulder when when Fleamont raised his wand and lowered the coffin into the ground.

Sirius could sense it happenning so when everyone left, he stood there with Juli.

"Here lies Starla Sirius Black," she whispered. "Daughter, friend and niece."

The moment she uttered those words, she sunk to the ground, letting out a heart wrenching sob. Sirius held her tight as her body racked with more sobs.

Her tears continued to fall for what felt like hours as she accepted everything that had happened in the past seven months.

That dark house, Voldemort, Mulciber, the feel of his hands on her, her lovely daughter and then her being snatched away.

Sirius rubbed her hair and murmured sweet nothings into her ear, her white shirt getting smeared black due to her kohl.

"You know what," she sniffled and wiped away her tears. She stood up and dusted off the dirt. "I have had enough. Enough of this weakness. No more. Sirius, Mul - Mulciber did... did things to me. Twice. I am sorry I didn't tell you."

Sirius' heart dropped to his stomach again as he realized what she meant. "Love, I -"

She turned her head and saw the others at the gate and ran towards them, Sirius just behind her, still surprised.

"Madam Pomfrey," she said. "Would - would Starla be here if she hadn't been born before time?"

"Dear, you went through something the Muggles call stress induced labour, so I suppose, yes." She replied sadly.

"Juli, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to - " Regulus started but Juli cut him off.

"It's not your fault, Reggie." She said sternly. "It's his."

"Jules..." James said.

"Who did this?" She asked. "Answer me Reggie."

"I - I - it was my choice and - "

"Who did this, Reggie?" She glanced at his left arm, where the mark was.

He looked at the others in shock. They all had the same expression.

"Ms. Potter," Dumbledore said. "It is not advisable -"

"Shut it!" She shouted. "Reggie?"

"It was The Dark Lord and - and Mulciber."

"Andreanna," Sirius said worriedly, moving towards her.

"What are you planning to do, Juli?" Remus asked.

"To finish it for once and for all," she said, and disapparated with a loud crack. To know one knew where.