The Other One | Sirius Black

Chapter 24 - Feelings

Shocked at the news, Jo asked, "What happened?"

Moody disclosed, "We're not sure but Regulus has been missing for a couple of weeks now which makes us believe he died completing a task for Voldemort."

"Of course he did, that blithering coward," Sirius said to himself.

Jo winced at Sirius' harsh analysis of his own brother.

"Thank you, Mr. Moody," she stated.

Moody simply nodded his head and left.

Jo turned to face Sirius, "You didn't mean that, Sirius."

Still stony-faced, he rebuked, "Yes I did. He was always scared of what other people thought of him, and most importantly of how our parents viewed him. Pathetic."

"Sirius, he was your brother. You're allowed to care even if he was a... even if he was on the wrong side of things," she tried to comfort him.

Sirius snapped and began to raise his voice, "You're telling me I should care about him after what he did to you? After he tricked you? After he kidnapped you and tortured you with my ballistic cousins? How can you be so blind to not see he was going to get you killed, Jo! He was going to KILL YOU! "

Everyone in the room suddenly looked over at the couple in the corner of the room.

Remus spoke out, "Calm down, Pads. What's going on?"

Sirius didn't answer and instead stormed out.

Jo meekly looked at the group before muttering, "Orion and Regulus are... dead."

"I'll go check on him," James said without hesitation.

Lily stopped him, "Don't. Give him some space, he needs to cool down to process the news."

Peter queried, "Why is he mad though?"

"Because I said he doesn't have to pretend to not be affected by it but he still doesn't seem to forgive Regulus for what he did in... um, last year," Joanna divulged.

James shook his head, "I don't think I've forgiven him either, Jo. I'm just as confused as Sirius about how you forgave him that quickly."

"I-I just know Regulus. I knew Regulus. And he did help bring me back," she stammered.

James still looked unconvinced, "Barely".

Joanna was now slightly frustrated, "Look I could just see that he did not want to do it. And I could see he wanted to change."

Her brother disagreed, "But that's the thing. He didn't change. He continued working for Voldemort."

Noticing her distress, Lily declared, "Ok I think we should give Joanna a break. She doesn't have to explain her reasons for forgiving him."

" I'm not saying I-I enjoy the fact he... kidnapped me and that he set me up for torture. What he did was bloody messed up; I think I hate myself a little for finding it so easy to forgive him, but I- he was just a kid - like all of us," Jo softly professed.

James finally gave up trying to understand his sister, "Alright well debating about his true intentions won't bring him back so let's drop the subject."

"I should go find Sirius," Jo remarked.

Remus placed a hand on Jo's shoulder before suggesting, "Maybe it's better if I do."

A few hours had passed since Moody broke the news to Sirius. He was on the balcony smoking a cigarette when Joanna appeared and stood beside him. He looked at her expecting to hear a lecture about the detrimental effects of smoking but was surprised to find her reaching for his stick before putting it in her mouth. He quickly pried it from between her lips.

She complained, "Hey, what was that for?"

"You shouldn't be doing that," he cautioned.

She pointed out, "In that case, neither should you."

He rolled his eyes before putting it out on the railway.

She began the actual conversation, "I'm sorry if I... offended you."

"Offended me? You've lost me now, Jo," a quizzical look on his face.

"I'm talking about what happened earlier today. I'm sorry if I said something wrong about Regulus," she elaborated.

He sighed, "You didn't offend me, Joanna. You didn't even say anything wrong about him."

"Then what's bothering you?" She questioned trying to get more out of him.

He came clean, "They're dead. My father and my brother are dead and I hate that I feel something because I hated them."

Jo said before getting interrupted, "They were your family, Sirius. It's normal to want to grieve--"

"But they never acted like my family. My father never did anything to stop my mother from disciplining us. He never told me not to run away. He stayed on the sidelines and watched on as his son was... And Regulus just blindly obeyed her. He didn't care about right or wrong, he was constantly seeking her approval. He never supported me or tried to look at things from my point of view," he replied irritated.

"You're still allowed to grieve if you want to. You're not a robot," she mentioned.

"I wish I was," he declared.

She persisted, "Sirius, you can have feelings for them. Even if you didn't end up liking one another, you knew them, you grew up with them. No one is going to judge you if you do."

Joanna moved closer, opening her arms to comfort him. Finally, he eased up and let go of the tension consuming him as silent tears rolled down his face.