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One wish, that's all I want.
I know exactly what I'd wish for. I'd wish my father was still alive. My younger sister would have a father to raise her, something I never had. He would go to her soccer games and sit on the sidelines yelling, rooting for her, embarrassing her in the process. He would pull her out of school early without Peppers knowledge and get ice cream and share secrets. He would take a picture of her by the front door on the first day of school despite Morgan's protests.
In my dream everyone was happy.
Dreams are overrated in my opinion. All it does is make me not want to wake up in the morning. If I could I would spend my entire life dreaming. Sometimes now, I just lay in bed for hours trying to dream of seeing him again. Sometimes I hear his voice for a moment. I try to dream of one last moment together, but I fail.
I can't dream.
But it doesn't matter because I have to be there for the people that need me the most. I knew eventually my existence in his life would screw him over. Just like it did to my mother. It took thirteen years and now he's dead.
And Natasha... she was supposed to come back. I saw the empty space on the platform and fell to the floor sobbing.
Natasha raised me along with Tony. I saw her almost every day. After I got 'arrested' by S.H.I.E.L.D, Fury offered me a chance to be an agent. It was an offer I couldn't refuse. As soon as I, reluctantly, finished high school I was sent straight to the academy and graduated in a year and a half at the top of my class. Natasha trained with me every single day making me a better agent.
I preferred to stay behind the scenes in most of the operations mostly because I was terrified of getting shot or wounded in the field. I did what I did best, hacking. Then S.H.I.E.L.D fell and I was lost once again without a home.
Five years felt like an eternity without my friends. Everyone was gone. We lost.
They always say the bad guys never win but they never prepare you for when they do.
Tony and Pepper tried to move on, they had Morgan and I visited often. It was perfect, but there was always something missing.
If I had known he was going to die that day I would have helped him come up with a better option. There's always another way.
Instead of him being the one to snap his fingers saving the universe, I would have done it. I would be dead but Pepper would still have a husband and Morgan would still have a father. I'm trying not to think about it. I tend to do that, think about every possible way I could have prevented something.
