shake the dust // JENLISA

Chapter 14

Anger flared in her chest. "How the fuck was I supposed to know? We don't talk at all anymore."

"And whose fault is that?" Jennie snapped. "Who wants this divorce, huh?"

Lisa pressed her lips together. "Don't tell me you didn't realize that we were heading to divorce. You can't be so deluded with yourself that you thought we were still happy."

"I did!" Jennie yelled. Her eyes filled with tears. This wasn't good. Jennie only genuinely cried when her emotions were too much for her to handle, built up over a period of time, suppressing her feelings until they popped. "I miss you, Lisa. I miss us. Since this whole dumb program started, I've been on my own. Even the dogs can't fill the hole you left."

Lisa closed her mouth. She didn't know what to say to that. The look on Jennie's face was pure vulnerability. She really meant it. "Somewhere in there, you still actually care about me?"

Jennie threw her hands up. "Of course I do! Just because I devoted most of my time to my job, it didn't mean I forgot you existed, Lisa. I just... you were never there for me." The tears spilled out, over her cheeks and lips and dripping from her chin. "Did you ever consider how I felt, Lisa? I'm still so young to be heading such a massive company. The amount of stress I deal with daily would kill you. And when I get home, you were avoiding me or being your usual unpleasant self, and I got no respite even in my own home. So of course I decided to spend less time with you, because you only made me feel worse!"

Lisa gripped the armrest of her chair. "I begged you not to accept it!" she snarled. "I knew it would be too much for you, Jennie. I know what your father is like. He's selfish and cocky and a bastard, and he doesn't care about you the way you think."

"Don't talk about my father like that!"

"He didn't even come to our wedding!" Lisa yelled. "You begged him, and he still didn't show. Do you know how that crushed me?"

Jennie angrily rubbed the wetness from her cheeks. "I couldn't say no to him. I had to help."

"You could have, and we both know it."

Jennie's hands tightened into white fists. "Maybe if you'd supported me, instead of fighting with me, I would have found the strength to say no."

Once again, the comment felt like a blow to the chest. Lisa looked away, face flaming with shame. Jennie was right. The moment Lisa realized Mr Kim was grooming Jennie to take the company, their fighting had started. Maybe... maybe if she hadn't been so angry, had maybe been there for Jennie when it really counted, instead of complaining to Jisoo or just fighting about it, they wouldn't be here. The realization hit her so hard that she stared at the ground, eyes wide. She didn't know what to say.

"Wow," Chaerin interrupted the tension. "That was quite the breakthrough. There was a lot you both were holding onto, huh? I'm grateful that you managed to get it out." She set her thick notebook aside, and both of them looked at her. "Now, I think I've mostly identified where it went wrong. I've accounted for that in my plans. Is there anything else you feel like sharing, before we proceed?"

There was nothing more to say, really. Except... "I'm sorry," Lisa mumbled. She saw Jennie's head turn to her, but she couldn't gather the nerve to look her in the eyes. "You're right, that I wasn't there when I should have been, and I let my dislike of your father come between us. I'm sorry that I wasn't there."

Jennie sniffled. "I'm sorry too, Lisa. I still love you, and I don't want to live my life without you. I'm sorry that I made you feel like work came first. Can we please work on this? I miss you."

Lisa bit into her lip until she tasted blood. "Okay."

Chaerin clapped her hands together in delight. "Wonderful! Now, we move on to step 4. For this step, Lisa will need to move back in with you, Jennie. The rules are simple. One, you will need to stay in separate rooms. Two, every evening the two of you will need to be home to have dinner together. No exceptions. Every night. I will provide the food. You will either cook together or just eat together. It can be in five minutes or an hour, but it must be done. I will know. And lastly, no sex. Absolutely no sex." Chaerin lifted her brow to show her seriousness.

Lisa laughed. "Oh, I'm sure that won't be a problem." She couldn't even say 'I love you' back. Lisa really doubted she'd be able to have sex with Jennie again so soon, if ever.

They accepted the terms and headed out. On the way to their cars, Jennie turned her phone back on and was immediately assaulted with tons of missed calls, emails and messages. Lisa saw her blanch, and she felt bad.

Before they got to their cars, Lisa grabbed her hand. Jennie looked away from her phone and up to her face, surprised. "You switched your phone off for that?"

Jennie nodded. "I had to, or else I would be getting calls every two minutes."

Lisa's fingers tightened slightly. "Thank you."

Jennie smiled at her, but with the exhaustion so clear on her face, it looked more like a grimace. "I had to," she said. "Because I'm serious about this, too."

Lisa let her go and watched as she drove away. Somehow, she felt hopeful. Maybe she could learn to love Jennie again. Maybe she would remember why she'd loved her at all to begin with.