Turning Tables

01

"That's so unfair of you, otou-san. Ano ang sunod na sasabihin mo, 'sana ay naging lalake ako?' 'Yan lately ang bukambibig nina Auntie Ting eh. Hindi naman ako bingi. I did not expect you of all people to throw that ancient mysoginistic belief at me. Nakakadisappoint and guess what I'm a girl...and yes, women my age had already found their other half, their dream job, their dream family...I say good for them, but it's not yet time for me. It's not a matter of reproductive organs or paunahan ng pag-aasawa ngayon. What matters is, if I am ready or not. And I am not ready, obviously. Stop listening to Auntie Berna and Auntie Ting's cynicism! Wala na tayo sa Edo period, Papa."

It's his turn to gape. Hindi kasi ako palasagot pagdating sa kanya or kahit naman kanino. I had learned to choose my battles and mince my words. Kapag mga ganitong issues lang and I am pretty sure that as he looked at me, quite appalled, he was beginning to realize that I inherited one of his traits: his strong grip on his creed.

"Aya, hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko sa'yo pati 'yang bibig mo napakatalas. Sa lahat talaga ng mamanahin mo sa akin..." He groaned. "Alam mong mahal na mahal kita at iniintindi ko ang lahat ng tungkol sa'yo kahit ang tigas ng ulo mo."

I pursed my lips and sighed. Nilapitan ko na ulit siya at hinawakan ang mga kamay. I love my Papa and I did not mean to make him feel this way all the time. Hindi lang talaga nagkakatugma ang pananaw namin sa buhay.

"You want me to be happy right?"

"Of course and always."

I blew a hard breath as a way to expel the negativities and hoped that I'd imbue some positive vibes on him. I knew that I had to reassure Papa that this is not gonna be my always...na alam kong at some point in my life ay titigil ako at magsesettle.

Kuzuuu, the word settle gives me the chills. Sigurado kasi akong kasinungalingan lang at isang napakalaking ilusyon ang ganoong bagay.

But I knew that I have to give him something that he could hold on to dahil alam kong hindi niya na tatanggapin ng basta-basta ang mga salita ko.

Pinisil ko ang mga kamay ni Papa bago nagsalita.

"Then...okay let's have a wager. If this au pair stint still turns out to be a disaster...I'll work under kuya Mikhail."

Kuya Mik is my favourite cousin at wala akong pakialam kung ano man ang nagawa niya noon na hindi katanggap tanggap sa pamilya namin. Hindi magbabago kahit kailan ang pagtingin ko sa kanya.

Kuya Mik is the son of my dad's half sister, Antonia Vanderbilt-Silva, na triple ang sama ng ugali kumpara kina Auntie Ting at Auntie Berna. Kuya Mik is the most open minded member of our family and we made sure to always keep in touch with each other.

Though what I liked best about Kuya Mik is that he never judged me. Siya rin ang nagpapalusot sa akin noong highschool kapag gusto kong magparty sa Manila. He is the second best man that I know.

"What are you saying?" Papa looked at me like I had grown two, no... three heads...yeah maybe five. I am suddenly like a mythical creature in his eyes.

"You heard me,otou-san." I gave him an assuring smile.

"Pinaglololoko mo ba ako , Aya?"

"Syempre hindi, papa. Nagsinungaling na ba ako sa'yo?" Of course the answer is a BIG YES.

I am so good at lying that I sometimes I myself believe what is coming out of my mouth. But I only use that kind of superpower rarely. I don't want to practice it.