Turning Tables

01

"Tapos ngayon...you want to be an au pair?"

I sighed, nilapitan ko siya ng kaunti bago sumagot.

"Yes, and you know that I don't really care about labels, otou-san. I'm not pursuing some self-destructive illusion, if that's what your thinking . Matagal ko ng sinasabi sainyo ni Mama na...I'm just...not there yet. So... why would I stop looking for that thing that will make me pause and say, oh here it is, I am finally here... I'm staying. I mean, isn't that what living means? To seek purpose? To seek...life. At hindi pa ito ang buhay na para sa akin, papa."

Of course every thing that I just uttered was for theatrics. He would not get it, so I did not bother explaining and just gunned for the words that he wanted to hear. Or maybe he would get it but it would break him and I don't ever wish to see him that way again.

Papa groaned, he looked resigned.

"Aya-chan...ano ba ang pwede kong gawin para hindi mo na pasakitin ang ulo namin ng Mama mo?"

Umiling ako ng maraming beses bago naglakad na palapit sa kanya. I snaked my arms around one of his, then leaned against it.

"Wala po. Just let me be Papa. I'm not some newborn that's learning to crawl. I am already walking my walk and yes I do love my fair share of running around...and I am...happy running. Kailan ba ako humingi ng pera o nagpasaklolo sa inyo? Whenever I make a mess, I always see to it that I fix it myself without pulling the strings that comes with our family name. Ang media lang talaga ang kating-kating ibalita ang bawat mishaps ko."

"Isa pa 'yan...where are you getting all your money, Aya? And who do you run to instead of your Mama and I for help?" May tunog ng hinanakit ang boses niya, na expected dahil cycle na rin itong ganitong pag-uusap namin.

"At isa rin 'yan, otou-san...you know of these things already. Marami akong side jobs. I do cosplay at conventions and bartend at Pink Dahlia whenever I'm in Manila. My gaming livestream account is my main source of income, I have sponsors and I get help mostly from myself because I am that self sufficient. Sinabi ko na ito sainyo ni Mama ah?"

"I don't remember..." Umiling siya at tumiim ang ekspresyon. He was clearly in denial kaya napanguso na lang ako. I let him go and crossed my arms at him.

"You don't remember or ayaw mo lang tanggapin na bumagsak ang inyong tagapagmana sa unconventional na pamumuhay? Nagpapaapekto ka na sa mga sulsol nina Auntie Ting." I frowned.

"Anak ko...ano ba ang gusto mong maramdaman ko? Twenty one ka na, women your age are at least in a committed relationship, engaged and are mothers already. In my time you'd be considered as an old maid."

I gaped at his words.

I was getting annoyed for I knew that such backward belief is of Auntie Ting's macchinations. Mabait si Papa, sobrang bait. But one could only get unnaffected at certain points lalo pa at intrusive ang sulsol ng mga relatives namin. Lalong lalo na pagdating sa opinion ng evil stepsisters niyang sina Auntie Ting at Auntie Berna na akala mo naman ay sobrang linis ng mga budhi at walang mga anak na myembro ng Yakuza.

I had always felt their jealousy, but I had learned to stop myself from reacting to it. Mula pa ng bata ako ay ganoon na sila sa akin at malamang ay dahil hindi naman nila ako kadugo pero kailangan nila akong pakisamahan para tuloy-tuloy ang nasa stipulation ng will ni lolo tungkol sa inheritance nila. Basic old bitches na tamad magtrabaho at mahilig 'ipa-sa-diyos' ang lahat pero umaasa sa mana.