Turning Tables

01

I nodded as I adjusted my glasses. My father looked at me, stricken.

"Hai, otou-san. That's the plan. Isn't it wonderful that I finally decided to be uhm...close to selfless this time instead of partying around? Your wicked step sisters would be proud."

Mas lalong kahindikhindik ang naging itsura ni Papa sa sagot ko. Kumurap pa siya ng ilang beses bago itinarak ang nililinisang katana sa ibabaw ng kahoy na mesang ang tawag ay chabudai.

He is mad, but not angry mad. I just gave him a sheepish smile.

"At sabihin mo sa akin Aya, ano ang alam mo sa pag-aalaga ng mga bata?" Tumayo si Papa mula sa pagkakaupo sa sahig, an indication that I should get ready for his homily.

Umiling pa siya sa kawalan, quite disappointed, which was his constant look whenever it came to my...let's just say, kalokohan.

"After you graduated at UvA....you seemed to just act like a spoiled brat. Partying, drinking, doping...Last year you were running around with those actor friends of yours doing improvs and god knows what at dark alleys in Paris..." He started pacing back and forth, and leaving me no room to correct his words.

"Tapos bago iyon ay nagpasya kang maging backpacker. Ano na nga ba ulit ang nakuha mo sa mga tinukoy ko? Hmmmnn..." He feigned recalling then staged a light bulb moment. "You got robbed! Multiple embezzlement charges were made to your business partner slash lover and later I found out was also your friend's lover? What the hell is happening to your generation? Ano pa ba? Ah...This was probably the cherry on top, the highlight of your year... you starred in your very own sex video scandal! Chikushou....Aya..." Kinapa niya ang dibdib at hinilot. "Papatayin mo ba talaga ang ako sa konsomisyon? Ganito bang mga uri ng tao ang gusto mong kaibiganin?"

Gustong kaibiganin? Oh if Papa could hear my thoughts on this...and it was not as if it was a bad thing not having that much friends. My circle...it's more like interloping holes. I don't have much to call friends and though I could consider a few. There's Gerry, my academic rival from UvA, Cross, my biracial, bipolar, bicurious recruiter from AEsports whom I only get to see once a year and through a web conference...to name that few. Acquaintances, colleagues,...are fine terms...but lover is an quite intense label, we were fuck buddies...that should be the term that Papa used when he asked the last question.

It is not a first time hearing him say these things, so instead na mabahala ako at maagexplain ng bagay na normal sa generation ko katulad noong un, dahil baka inaatake na talaga siya sa puso ay napakagat labi na lang ako at hindi na sumagot. Besides may katotohanan naman ang mga sinasabi niya, hindi lang lahat.

"Bumawi ka naman pagkatapos noon, you cleaned up your act, got even featured on magazines...but was it even a good thing, Aya? Almost all of those articles had provocative photos of you! I would have understood it as some sorts of art expression on your end kung hindi lang pinabasa sa akin ng auntie Ting mo ang nilalaman ng mga nakasulat doon! You were sexualized and objectified!"

That is when I was unable to stop my eyes from rolling real hard and real slow that I think I saw the insides of my head.

So many adjectives had been thrown alongside my name already, and it honestly meant so little to me. But I guess it meant a lot to my family. Especially my gossip monger overly religious aunties na napakadaling nabibilog ang ulo ni Papa.

Nakakapagod na ring icorrect ang mga detalye nila. Masyado lang ding sinesensationalize ng Japanese media ang buhay ko and as much as I try my very best to stay out of the limelight, it is hard being unnoticed for my father is a prominent scion here in Japan. Sa labas naman ng bansa ay wala namang masyadong pumapansin sa akin katulad ng dito sa amin.