Moon

We gone be straight

Things have been going good between me and Marshaun it's been 2 weeks since he's been home we talked everything out and wen got a little advice from ms.v and nana after we had sex on the beach we tried to sneak back in the house out face was priceless after being caught by not only nana but ms.v that night was perfect hear lately I have just been working

8:00a.m
My alarm went off " get up " I said shaking Marshaun he had to go to school and I had to get ready for work he groaned and garbed my waist " let's just stay hear all day " I laughed he is so dramatic sounding like a little girl I rolled over and kissed his lips " sounds nice but we have to grind together to shine together so either get your ass up or be left " I say being smart I got out the bed and went into my bathroom I cut on the water and stripped free of my cloths I started to brush my teeth then felt the urge to throw up I ran to the toilet puking up everything in my body Marshaun came in and raised his eyebrow at me I just stood up and got in the shower I started to wash my hair and body he got in with me we switch spots " what was that " he asked I shrugged " I don't know I was just brushing my teeth then I needed to throw up " I said putting my conditioned hair in a hair tie I stepped out raping my towel around my body I dried off and started to Latino up I put on my underwear and started to look for my brawl Marshaun came in the room dropping his towel and grabbing his boxers yes he has cloths over hear not a lot just a few like lounge cloths a few pants and 2 pairs of shoes I was in the middle of putting on my scrubs then I shot to the toilet throwing up again he came in behind me raising his eyebrow again he stood in the door frame looking deep in thought " what " I said I wanted him to stop staring at me " you sure there is nothing wrong with you " I sat and thought for a moment I couldn't think of anything I shook my head " must be something I ate I guess I mean I'm throwing up but I feel fine I don't feel sick at all " I say trying to convince him I was fine " you know how dumb that just sounded your throwing up but you feel fine " he said mocking me I rolled my eyes and finished getting dressed he of course was done before me I started to do my make up I put my hair into a tight ponytail and headed down stairs Marshaun was eating a bowl of grapes I decided not to eat anything the last thing I needed was to be throwing up at work I didn't need to be sent home I sat down and started to think I hardly ever get sick and when I do it is like a cold or something like that I shook the thought away and headed out for work leaving my thoughts behind me

7:30p.m
Today was a long day I didn't throw up any more but as the day progressed I started to feel wheezy I thought it was because I skipped breakfast but when I tried to eat it just wasn't sitting right in my mouth I knew something was wrong because I never ever don't eat shit that's my second nature eating is apart of life especially mine once I got home I gent straight to my room and laid down my head was spinning and I just didn't feel it my nana came in and sat down beside me " what's wrong " she said touching my side I tolled over looking at her " I don't know " I said explaining everything to her she listened carefully after examining everything to her she asked me had I had my period out of all times she want to talk about that now I grabbed phone and looked at my period log the last time I had had one was lasting it was due anytime now BC I was just ovulating last week and BOOM !!! Just like that it hit me I paused and stared into space Marshaun came home that day I was ovulating we had sex unprotected it's been 2 weeks my period was long over due " I probably have the stomech flue or something " I say not looking at my nana she shit me a look and got up " umhum we'll you let me know if u new anything get some rest you might feel better in the morning " she said kissing my cheek and walking out as soon as her door closed I shot up I quickly changed out my cloths and called miyah she answer on the second ring " hello " she said "!i need you to help me do something I'm on my way" I say panicking I hung up before she could say anything I grabbed my purse and quickly ran down stairs and out the door I got in my car and pulled off

Once I got to her apartment complex I ran up the stairs and knocked profusely she answers the door looking at me like I was crazy I rushed in and started to pase back and forth " what's wrong " she said I started to shake and my hands started to sweat never in an a million years did I think I would be every saying this I stood still and looked at her " I think I'm pregnant " she didn't say a word she just walked to the back and i was right behind her she started to go through the top of her closet she pulled out an old box with baby stuff in it and she pulled out a box of clearblue test he handed them to me " you know what to do " is all she said I went to her bathroom and closed the door i started to contemplate I wanted to call Marshaun but what if I'm over thinking it I mean I could just really be sick and freaking out for no reason but if I was I didn't wanna find out alone I wanted him to be Hear I went to his contact but quickly changed my mind what if he doesn't want a baby shot I don't either we graduate in less than 2 months and we just got back together things are going good a baby is just going to fuck things up I cursed myself for not being smarter and using protection I knew better then I thought about nana lord this is going to kill her I sat on the side of the tub just thinking about all the disappointment and hurt this is going to cause people including myself I got up and pulled out the test reading the directions carefully these wear the high tech ones so it would tell me rather I was pregnant or not I took a deep breath and pulled down my pants I sat there for what felt like forever before I finally started to pee I quickly shot the test between my legs and pulled it right out now I wait I was knocked outy thoughts by miyah coming in with the phone in her hand I whipped and got up " hear " she said I looked at her like she was crazy I know she didn't call him I just know she didn't I took the phone with a shaky hand and put it to my ear I didn't say anything " why didn't you tell me " he said sounding calm this is not a calm situation this is the rest of out lives my life because he could walk out and then I'm stuck I just bit my lip and shook my head " I know you hear talking to you moon " he said it wanted to talk but I couldn't I didn't know what to say or how to feel dame it Miyah didn't need to call him he is just making it worse how can he be so calm about this I heard the dial tone signaling he hung up I just sat the phone down I had bigger issues than him hanging up in my face miyah had walked away I sat down on the tub and waited it was silent the only thing I could hear was my hear beating I jumped at the sound of somebody banging on the door I got up and locked her bathroom door I heard he talking and then it got quiet I heard her bedroom door close and lock I figured it was just her or maybe D but man I was wrong it was Marshaun he tied to open the door but failed I started to panic I didn't need him to be hear right now " open the door moon " he said I didn't move he tried to open it again I'm he sighed in frustration " I'm counting to 3 if u don't open the door I will kick this mf down and Miyah will have you to blame " he said " 1....2..." I swung the door open and he walked in I didn't look at him but I could feel him burning a whole in me I had the test in my hand " so what you wear just going to do this without me knowing that shit wasn't going to fly and I would have found out one way or another " he said I started to get mad its not like I knew and was t telling him I just thought about it my dame self I shot up " don't sit hear and accuse me of not telling you it hiding anything from you because I just thought about it today if you felt suspicious you should have been more blunt about it instead if beating around the bush " he knew all along I could have been pregnant that's why he asked me all that this morning " I'm not trying to go through this shit again man " he said sighing and sitting down on the toilet my whole face changed again what tf he mean again I through the test at him and quickly walked out I garbed my keys and stormed to my car ignoring him and miyah I pulled off fuck them I dint need them I got me regardless she shouldn't have even called him and he doesn't even ask if I'm ok he just comes in accusing me then has the nerve to say he doesn't feel like dealing with this again shit how does he think I feel I don't wanna deal with this at all I have my whole life ahead of me and so does he so with that being said I'm going to do what I feel is best abortion or adoption he doesn't even have to worry about it I think getting out the car and going inside my house I close the door and quietly go up to my room I don't need nana waking up i get straight in the shower I scrub profusely I slide down the wall and begin to cry I hate my life I can't win for loosing it's always some type of bullshit going on and no matter what I do or how I do it I'm the one who gets fucked over in the long run
After getting out I dry off and examine my body in the mirror I touch my stomach I don't look any different and I don't feel different I just sigh and go in my room I put on a big shirt and lay down my phone flashes I pick it up seeing Marshaun is calling I just let it go to voicemail I had 10 unread messages between him and Miyah and 4 missed calls I just deleted them I felt betrayed how could she call him when I went through this with her I didn't call D because for one that wasn't my place and for two that obviously why she came to me and not him or a doctor when you confide on someone the quickest way to fuck that up is by getting other people involved now I feel like I can't trust her and then Marshaun i have no words for him I feel played like I've been set up why I don't know because I got myself into this but unlike other people I'm not going to sit and ponder I know what I need to do and I'm going to do it simple as that