Shard Society [Haikyuu!!] | ✔

Epilogue (4)

June 24th, 2018

The daily life of Kuroo Tetsurou was enviable. Recently, he had moved in with his superstar girlfriend in a posh neighborhood. Now, his typical daily routine consisted of heading to work—stopping by the coffee shop for an iced americano before his train left—speaking with several big names in the v-league, and returning home to Oishi for amazing sex. Truly enviable.

But today...

"Sir." A vein throbbed in Kuroo's cheek as he forced a smile at the blue-haired man-child sitting opposite him. "We're going for a more 'family friendly' advertisement. What you've just, ah, described to me... Doesn't really fit the brief." I gave up my Sunday for this? His superior had assigned him to this task last week but if he had known how difficult his clients were, he would have protested.

"What do you mean?" complained b-league star Aomine Daiki.

"Well, sir," Kuroo said through gritted teeth. "Scantily-clad 'bikini babes'," he did air-quotes, "as you've so brilliantly sketched out for me here," a finger tapped on the piece of paper with disproportionately well-endowed stick figures, "unfortunately do not meet our family friendly criteria."

His current project was quite an important one—a collaboration between the v-league and the b-league to draw more fans into the sports. There would be a laid-back exhibition match happening soon where the players would be swapping sports, and Kuroo was in charge of coming up with several promotional billboard designs with the players that would be featuring on the signs.

"If the honkers are the issue," Aomine argued. "I could always pose like this"—he threw his arms out—"and boom! Boobs covered."

"You are not a clown," said Hoshiumi. "You are the entire circus."

With how frustrating Aomine was proving to be, Kuroo had almost forgotten that there were more people sitting at the table with them. Some were even eating fried chicken, taking the opportunity away from their coaches to indulge in junk food.

"What was that, small-fry?!" Aomine glared. "You're, like, the size of my bicep."

"I could take out your kneecaps, you tall freak!"

"No one's taking out anyone's kneecaps," Kuroo placated with a sigh. I don't get paid enough for this. "I'd appreciate it if you gentlemen would refrain from brawling like grade schoolers, thanks." As he said this, he gave the rest of them—Ushijima Wakatoshi, Kiryuu Wakatsu, Kiyoshi Teppei, and Takao Kazunari—a hairy eyeball. Three volleyball players and three basketball players. Each billboard design had to include one player of each sport. "Okay. Let's start small. We should decide who should partner with who in each picture."

"Anyone but him," Hoshiumi and Aomine said at the same time, glaring.

At this rate, Kuroo would have better luck drawing names from a hat. Massaging his temples, Kuroo turned to the silent players. "What about you guys?"

"I don't mind," Ushijima said, unhelpfully.

Kiryuu scratched his cheek, a little shy. "I can work with whoever."

Kiyoshi echoed their sentiments, and Takao said nothing because he had somehow fit a whole chicken drumstick in his mouth.

"Right!" Kuroo clapped his hands together, doing his best not to cry and flip the table over. He'd probably pull a muscle doing so. "Names out of a hat it is, then!"

"Isn't that a bit degrading?" Takao finally swallowed his chicken.

"Yeah," agreed Hoshiumi, crossing his arms. "We're not elementary school kids."