Just hold on

Chapter one

Is it normal to wake up to the sounds of sirens blasting out of your ears? Is it normal to barley be awake but yet feel like you want to just fall asleep? She's basically dead but not. She can hear her mother screaming,

"It's going to be ok hunny just hold on."

Just hold on- She's heard those words millions of times. Like those words where the only thing that someone could come up with in a midlife crisis.

The vision of her eyes start to become more clear and she's aware of her surroundings. The big poster on the wall that I doubt anyone even knew what it meant. I mean how is anyone supposed to understand a million strokes on a canvas and call that art. He did. He always did. No matter how stupid or weird it was he understood it. Maybe that's why she never understood him. But who understands anyone anymore? He always said,

"Why would you waist your life on someone that's an open book. The things we cherish are the most mysterious things the human mind could ever comprehend."

Her heart felt empty without him. She didn't know where she was. Deep down- She knows why she's here. The memories are pretty fuzzy but enough to remember the full picture. Enough to realize the agonizing pain she gave him. Is that why he left? Did I traumatize him? Her chest started pounding, she could hear the screaming of the heart monitor beside her. She sensed as the bags of her eyelids felt as if they where bricks weighing her down so far she couldn't open her eyes anymore. It went black. She couldn't move or see anything till she saw a faint shadow in the distance. She began to walk towards it, the closer she got the more she recognized the shadow.

It was her...

In the distance another shadow was walking towards her.

It was him...

They where laughing and play fighting, they looked like they where having fun. Soon things went south. She saw herself walking away from the scene into the blackness. She could barely hear them, the most she could get out of them was,

"Look, I'm leaving."

Her face had a confused look on it. She didn't understand what was happening, she couldn't hear what was happening, till she saw her shadow-self grabbing what seemed to be a gun out of her back pocket. He backed away slowly as her shadow self whispered to him,

"This isn't to hurt you. I'm just tired of this I need to get away, I can't live like this."

She placed her hand on the trigger and placed the gun to the side of her head.

"Please, you don't have to do this," he exclaimed.

"I'm sorry."

Those where the last words that came out of her mouth when she saw her shadow-self pull the trigger. She saw him running towards her while he pulled out his phone to call 911.

She couldn't believe herself. How could she do this to him? How could she do this to herself?

Her head started to feel sore as she began to sense her body again. Her eyes slowly opened,

"Is- is that you?" She tried to talk but couldn't find the words. She was overjoyed but was to numb to express it. She couldn't believe it was-

"Yes, yes, hunny it's me, NURSE, SHES UP." Her mother yelled.

She was extremely disappointed. She was really hoping that she could apologize to him for everything she put him through but it was only her mother.

"Mom, my head hurts, what happened?" She asked.

"Well, the doctors had to put you under anesthesia for the surgery," her mother replied.

She was confused.

"Why did I need a surgery?" She asked.

"Well... you see..." her mother ran away. She wasn't shocked. After all, her mother was always the type to run, from a relationship, from work, even from her own kids. When things got tough- well you can guess what happens.
She tried to get up but her body didn't want to. So she ended up staying there. She heard the door open than close and in was him- it was really him.

"Is it really you?" She asked.

She was always very self conscious about what she says or does because she was absolutely terrified to do something wrong.

"Yes, it's me." He answered with the look of relief on his face.

The smell of her sweet perfume was still stuck to her shirt that it was just irresistible to not go up close to smell. He was scared to touch her. Scared to hold her. Scared to do something and it ends in something he'll regret till he dies.

She was extremely happy. This is what she had been waiting for since she got here. Nothing made her felt better than his hands around her body. Holding her. Loving her. He made her feel safe. Like this was heaven and there was no tomorrow.