I love you.
I opened my eyes and held my chest. Breathe slowly Ember. Breathe.
Those words. Those words again.
I stood up and decided to go to the rooftop. Reaching for my coat I noticed the time, still two in the morning. I sighed.
"What are you doing up here?" I found my dad sitting on a chair.
"I should be the one asking you that." He answered while looking the sky through a telescope. He saw me staring at it, "Would you like to try?"
"What did you see?"
"Nothing. Bunch of clouds. Maybe it will rain." He stood up and made a space for me to pass.
"Now what do you see?"
"I see a star." I answered while staring at a bright star alone in the sky.
"What's wrong?" I glanced at my father. This still feels unbelievable. I'm looking at a man that's already dead in my reality.
"Nothing." I lied.
"Ember, you know that I'm here for you right?" He held my chin, "Don't be too hard on yourself."
Dad went inside after we talked for half an hour. I leaned on my seat and look up.
Whenever I look at the sky, I feel like I'm back again to that world. I feel like he is beside me, lying down on the grass, waiting for the sun to rise.
Almost a year has passed, and I'm still stuck here in the world I don't want to belong.
I lost hope. I couldn't solve the formula. And I don't know how to build the machine.
"How are you Ten?" I asked the same question every night, hoping he could hear them. I held his letter in my hands, now rumpled and full of dried tears.
"I miss you. So much." I whispered, hoping that God will deliver it to him.
I told myself that everything was destined to happen. But I can't help myself to feel regret everything that I went through.
Regret is such a short word and yet it stretches on forever.
It was a mistake looking for clues around my parent's office. It was a mistake not breaking the machine before launching towards Kepler.
Everything was a mistake.
