Writer's Book Award 2021 (Batch One)

Horror Results With Feedback

Title: [4/5]
Bookcover: [4/5]
Blurb: [14/15]
Plot: [24/25]
Grammar: [8/10]
Writing style: [15/15]
Overall: [24/25]

Total: [93/100]

FEEDBACK:

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xkinglessqueenx | Monsterland

Title: [5/5]
Bookcover: [5/5]
Blurb: [13/15]
Plot: [25/25]
Grammar: [10/10]
Writing style: [15/15]
Overall: [25/25]

Total: [98/100]

FEEDBACK:

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missaubryn | Mystery of Love

Title: [4/5]
BC: [4/5]
Blurb: [13/15]
Plot: [23/25]
Grammar: [7/10]
Writing style: [13/15]
Overall: [22/25]

TOTAL: [86/100]

FEEDBACK:
Hi, binibini. First of all, I appreciate and congratulate you for writing an english story. Allow me to begin my feedback from your Title. At first, I thought I misread the title from the Horror participants' list since I am judging the stories under horror genre. Mystery in Love seems like it's a romance story. The blurb also supported the title (it should be) BUT I don't think horror genre is the exact genre for this story. I understand that the male protagonist is a lurking ghost accused for murdering his family but as I read the initial chapters of the story, I can see that they are doing a ghost hunting. Sorry, nadala ako sa language na ginamit sa story pero 'yon nga, hindi ako gaanong na-entice sa blurb maging sa title. I expected something fearful and suspense ngunit maging sa BC ay hindi ko makita ang pinaiikutan ng kuwento. I suggest po na the next time you decided to change your BC ay mas ma-improve pa at mas ayon ito sa horror genre. Here's the thing about the plot, hindi ko pa makita ang ibang twists dahil nga initial chapters lang naman ang nabasa ko pero nakikita ko kung sana patungo ang mga pangyayari. Somehow, nakaukit na sa isip ko na maganda ang plot mo sa pag-iibigan nila pero hindi ako gaanong kumbinsido na makakaramdam ako ng horror dito. No offense meant po, binibini, ngunit napansin ko na hindi gaanong natural ang daloy ng conversations. Masyado itong formal? I don't know dahil maging ang mag-ina o magkakaibigan ay masyadong formal ang conversation nila. You also used longer sentences sa pag-eexecute ng mga eksena kaya medyo confusing siya. Another suggestion po, end every chapters with a suspense line or scene. Sa grammar at technicalities, maraming grammatical errors, I really appreciate na english ang ginamit mong language, binibini, and I am not discouraging you. Hence, I am encouraging you to practice using english language because I really think you're not that bad, you just need improvement. Since english story siya, majority na ang unang mapapansin ay ang grammar errors lalo pa't mahahaba ang sentences mo at hindi gaanong clear ang paglalahad ng mga scenes dahil sa choice of words. You also have your own style in writing and I highlh respect that. May kanya-kanya tayong estilo but I will still suggest na practice and improve your craft pa rin, binibini. You can do it! I'm rooting for you. I hope my feedback made sense. Congratulations! :>