Monasterio Series #5: Risks and Chances

Kabanata 20

Tumayo ako saka dinampot ang tumbler ko. Iniwan ko siya roon, hindi man lang nagpaalam ng ayos. I don't have any intention to mingle with him. Hell, not even in my wildest dream.

I pressed my key fob and the car alarm beeped twice. Binuksan ko ang pinto ng back seat at inihagis roon ang dalang twalya at tumbler. I was about to close the door when I saw Alas leaning against my car. My heart almost fly away seeing him staring menacingly at me while arms folded over his chest.

"What the hell!" nanglalaki ang mga matang asik ko, hawak pa ang tapat ng aking dibdib. "Papatayin mo ba ako sa gulat?!"

Hindi siya natinag sa naging reaksyon ko. Sa halip ay nanatili lang siyang nakatitig sa akin, bahagyang salubong ang makakapal na kilay na para bang may ginawa akong mali sa kaniya.

"Are you avoiding me?" he asked in a cold tone.

Natigilan ako ngunit agad rin naman nakaapuhap ng sasabihi.

"And why would I avoid you?"

"You are not answering my texts and calls. Can't even find you on your office—"

"It's because I'm busy—"

"You always find time to answer my calls even when you're busy, Zeph. Have already proven that."

Our eyes locked with each other. Una akong nagbawi saka maarteng pinagkrus ang mga braso ko. Morning wind blasted my sweaty face that cause me to slightly shiver. Muli ko siyang tiningnan, nakataas ang isang kilay.

"I have priorities to take care, Alas—"

"And I'm not one of them. I got that, Zeph. You don't have to tell me."

Umangat ang sulok ng labi ko. "Alam mo naman pala."

"Of course," titig na titig na sagot niya. "But you have never been so distant to me until now. We both know that."

Sa pangalawang pagkakataon ay natameme ako, alam sa sariling tama ang sinasabi niya. Sa ilang buwang pagkakakilala namin ni Alas, kahit na pagalit lagi ako kung ituring siya, kahit palagi ko siyang sinusungitan, hindi kailanman ko siya iniwasan. Hindi kailanman ako naging malamig sa kaniya.

Ngayon lang... at may dahilan ako.

He stepped forward that pulled me out of my thoughts while staring stoically into his eyes. Muli siyang humakbang hanggang sa mapasandal na ako sa kotse ko. There were only few inches left in between us that made me feel hard to breathe.

"I'll ask you one last time, Zeph," he muttered, his voice was deep and hoarse. Are you avoiding me?"

Huwag kang magpapahalata, Zephania. Kapag sinabi mong iniiwasan mo siya ay hahaba pa ang diskusyon niyong dalawa. Kapag nangyari iyon ay baka mauwi lang kayo sa pinaka-ugat kung bakit mo kailangan dumistansya sa kaniya.

Suminghap ako at huminga ng malalim. Bahagya kong itinulak ang dibdib niya saka umalis sa pagkakasandal mula sa kotse.

"I'm not avoiding you, Alas. That's the truth. I just realize that I have been waisting so much of my time for you, doing nonsense things. I'm being unproductive because of you and I hate that. Kung saan-saan mo ako inaaya, kahit dis oras ng gabi ay hindi mo pinapalagpas. Don't you think you're being too comfortable with me?"

Storm passes his eyes that I almost want to blink. I've never been scared to anyone for having intimidating eyes. Kay Daddy lang dahil literal na madilim siya kung tumingin. But this time, I feel like I want to hide from somewhere just to avoid them.

"Is it bad?" he asked. "Wala akong makitang mali kung maging kumportable ako sa'yo."

Ako ang may problema.