Donkey Kong country plot "summarized"

Dkc plot "Summarized"

Well hello there am your narrator and I here to "Summarized" the plot of it so let's get ready
So it start's off by a cracked up crocodile named king k tool steals all of dk dildos.. I mean bananas.  Dk wakes up to to all this shit and grabs a picture of Jonny sins and set's out to adventure to curb stop all crocodile in his way so he soon comes to his son or nephew or some shit anyways his name is diddy kong. You may be asking what happen to donkey Kong jr. forget about him he doesn't exist........ anyways let's get back in are adventure going though like some amount of levels you get your first boss a big mole... very original I know so after bashing his head in your on your way to see funky kong he puts on his airship and you go to the next level you first meat with candy kong and which she does not look like a monkey (and what I mean by that is the she got big tits) which I think the Internet like a little to much.. well sense we are done with that we're on to are next batch of level the setting none looks like that one area from Star Wars were Luke kisses his sister anyways when you done with that batch of levels were on to the boss which is a big ostrich or a big bee I know 10/10 designs perfect something they could never top anyways you bash there heads in with a barrel with diddy inside anyways next area. And before we go there I like to say how weird it is to save in this game you need dk coins and you need to go to cranky long which probably smells like dead stick bugs but at least it more original then the bosses. Anyways on to the mechanical area this place is cool it all metal and is factory themed. So after dk rejects capitalism and goes to King k rool boat somehow. So they fight k rool pulls a fake out death and like a crocodile on crack jumps all around the place [insert unfunny jojo joke] dk punch's king k rool to his island and grabs his weirdly shaped banana'a and puts diddy in cage and hops on discord to groom 13 year old girls the end.