Rose Garden

chapter 1 🌹

she was buried in the garden. the rose garden. just my father and i. nothing special. nothing fancy. god knows we cant afford anything fancy. ever since we moved to our new house, my fathers been more distant than ever. we were never close, but now it's becoming more and more apparent. its kind of funny, your own father, acting like a complete stranger. i spend a lot of my time away from my house - i can't bare to be stuck inside with that man. that poor excuse of a man. hes a selfish cunt. he only thinks about himself. he buys fancy things for himself, and himself only. he'll go out and eat at a fancy restaurant atleast once a week, whilst i'm stuck with instant ramen and microwave dinners. he pisses me off. it takes a lot of self restraint not strangling that man whenever i see him, but i manage. i rarely ever talk to him. actually, i can't remember the last time i actually had a conversation with him. so for him to be wanting to speak to me is... worrying, to say the least.

i walk into the kitchen and there he is sitting at the table, typing something on his laptop. i slowly approach the table, and sit across from him. he adjusts his glasses, and looks up from his laptop.

"(y/n)," he smiles at me. first time he's done that in a while. "i've been thinking lately, about you, and your... wellbeing".

"yeah?" i say, somewhat annoyed. really? you've been thinking about me? and my fucking wellbeing? i really couldn't fucking tell.

"of course," he says, almost mockingly. "i think it would be a good idea for you to attend school, because, well, since we've moved, you've been spending a lot of time alone, and i think it would be good for you to get out and socialise!"

i internally sigh. i was wondering when the topic of school would come up. i was almost hoping it wouldn't. it's not that i dont want to go to school, its just, rumours spread fast. i'll be known as the girl with a no mom. people will make shit up. i mean it already started happening in my old school, before we got evicted.

"so?" he says impatiently.

so? i know i dont have a say in the matter. he'll make me go anyway, whether i like it or not.

"of course, father," i say, in a monotonous tone.

he smiles again, a fake smile, but still a smile.

"you're a big girl now, so you have to make your own decisions. i have a few options that you can choose from, so you can choose the school you'd like to attend," he says, his gaze now back to his laptop, "theres... Golden Oak High and..... Elk Creek High".

i dont know but they both sound like shit. i dont want to go but.... he'd probably ask why and, i dont want to tell my father that i dont want to go to school, because of mom. he wouldn't get it. he'd probably just get mad. call me an ungrateful child and scold me for atleast an hour.

"i'm personally leaning more towards Golden Oak High, mainly because it's closer, and i've heard extremely good things about it". he says, interrupting my train of thought.

oh. 'personally leaning more towards Golden Oak High'. god. i hate when he gives his personal opinion. his 'personal' opinion is basically his way of saying 'this is what's going to be the best for you and dont you dare tell me otherwise because i am your father and i know what's right for you'. its bullshit. he constantly reminds me that i'm a big girl and i need to make my own decisions, but he ends up making them for me. its annoying. whatever. i know better than to argue with him.

"fine dad," i say abruptly.

"great, we can go get the uniform and school supplies tomorrow and you can start school next week" he says, not looking up from his monitor.

and with that, i get up from the kitchen table, and go up to my room. i'm not sure why, but i'm upset. maybe not upset, but angry. the first time my dad has talked to me since mom's funeral, and he doesnt even say hello? he says he's thinking about me and my wellbeing, but if he really did, he'd atleast say how are you? or something atleast? god i dont know what i was thinking. i guess i was hoping that maybe, he had a change of heart? maybe he was trying to bring our family back together? but my hopes were too high. did i forget who i was talking to? god. now i just feel pathetic. and stupid.

i take my phone out and start researching a little. i want to know more about Golden Oak High, you know.. the uniform, extra curricular activities, the subjects etc. etc. i mean, i'm interested in seeing what this school has to offer.

i keep researching the school and so far, i cant seem to find much about it. they've been involved in a few competitions- dancing, football, lacrosse, and some other sports i dont care about. in terms of subjects, they've got a wide selection of languages to learn- spanish, french, korean, japanese, italian and russian. supposedly, this is one of the best highschools in the country. i dont know, it might be bullshit. yawn. this is boring as fuck. i should probably go to bed. but before that...

...i make sure dad's in bed, before going downstairs, into the kitchen, and throwing on a jacket. i open the door to my garden and head out, out into the rose garden. and there she is. my mom. well, my mom's headstone. i sit down on the grass across from it. it's cool outside, with just a slight breeze rustling the branches of the trees. i look at the headstone. it's a shame really. she didnt deserve this kind of fate. she was a kind, gentle lady. i sigh.

sometimes, i wish my mother was alive. and that disgraceful... 'father' ...of mine was six feet under.

but that's a bit selfish to think about.

guess thats one thing we have in common.