Layla

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The European Commission has just announced that English will be the official language of the European Union. German, which was the other possibility, narrowly missed out.
During negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly this will make
sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of "k".
This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20 shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer pepl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
"z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou". Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und after zis fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German; lik zey vunted in ze
forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

Gryffindor red, Ravenclaw blue, insult Harry Potter and I'll crucio you!

      Daniel R adcliffe
               T O m Felton
      Emma W atson
  Matthew L ewis
        Bonn I e Wright
        Evan N a Lynch
     Rupert G rint