Jungkook
"Kookie, Kookie! It's the holiday season! Lighten up, will ya?"
My eyes crack open as I look at the blond in front of me with freshly done hair and freshly brushed teeth. Despite being in the presence of a literal Christmas angel, I harbor no feelings of Christmas cheer. And how could I? I'm eighteen and instead of having the ability to spend the holidays like a normal teenager, I'm expected to work.
I used to want to be famous so bad, but now, I just feel drained. People wonder how Jeon Jungkook, member of the BTS can be unhappy, but although I have money and I have ARMY's love, I find myself feeling lonelier than ever. There's just a pressure to be perfect and happy, but it's impossible to do at all times. I may be the one who does this to myself, but I can't let anyone down.
When I started dating Jimin, I thought having a romantic relationship with someone in the same circumstances would alleviate the burden, but it instead weighs harder on me. I should be able to spend the holidays with my boyfriend the right way, not getting up at five-thirty am for dance practice. We should be hanging out with our families together back in Busan, yet here we are, miles and miles away from home.
Maybe it would have been better for him to date someone normal.
Jimin would be offered more of an escape. We're around each other twenty-four-seven. He has to want a break from me sometimes. Even if he doesn't, he has to deal with hate from people who want me with someone else. We aren't even out. Can we ever hope to come out when Jimin is dealt so much abuse despite us never confirming our relationship? But are we allowed to come out on our own terms if we are even allowed out at all? Or will we continue to live double lives?
Or will we be outed by some outside force?
Everything is such a drag. I don't even know how to smile right now. I work my hardest, but without the light at the end of the tunnel, I feel everything crashing down on me. There is a thick, dark, rain cloud suffocating and blinding me.
So how possibly could I lighten up?
Author's Note: The prologue to an angsty-fluffy filled adventure. I don't know how well holiday stories do on here, so I guess we'll see.
What do you think?
Make sure to take care and love yourself as best as you can.
With lots of love,
-BBM
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Last Christmas | Jikook ✓
FanfictionJeon Jungkook was aware that to be an idol would take sacrifice. However, he was just a teenager and didn't know that being an idol would take away things dear to him that he had taken for granted before becoming a trainee-the most important, spendi...
