30 Ways to Piss Off The Harry Potter Cast [Watty Awards 2011]

30 Ways to Piss Off Umbridge

A/N: Number one is courtesy of PoetryNPurple. :) Enjoy!

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30 Ways to Piss Off Umbridge

1) Dress up as a centaur for Halloween. Make sure to ring her doorbell.

2) Replace all the pictures in her office with dog pictures.

3) Hand her a cheap silver necklace and tell her it was from the Selwyns, to whom you are distantly related.

4) Turn all her robes black.

5) Get her a pet toad.

6) Tell her Grawp wants to go on another date.

7) Buy her anti-wrinkled cream for her birthday.

8) Scream, "You must not tell lies!" every time she opens her mouth.

9) Replace her quills with the special ones she has Harry use.

10) Tell her you know a great therapist who specializes in people who have control issues.

11) Say, "Isn't honey supposed to attract more flies than vinegar? So what's wrong with you?"

12) Croak at her every time she looks at you.

13) Dress up in pink and speak in an annoyingly high-pitched voice.

14) Whenever she says something, raise your hand and ask, "Is this Ministry approved?"

15) Give her the once-over and say, "I'm pretty sure that is not Ministry approved."

16) Get her a fake glass eyeball for her birthday and say that you think it would look nice on her door.

17) Show her all the Harry Potter fanfics, then say, "Funny how none of them ever involve you."

18) Make a face everytime she walks out of a room and say, "Whew! Do not go in there."

19) Follow her around with a clipboard, and take random notes on everything she does.

20) Tell her it's okay to smile once in a while. It lengthens your life.

21) Then warn her that constantly puckering your lips can lead to early wrinkling.

22) Then say, "Oh, nevermind, too late."

23) Ask her what the stick ever did to her, and glance downward and behind her pointedly.

24) Whenever she assigns homework, smile sweetly and say, "Detention, Ms. Umbridge, for misconduct."

25) Make a comment about how dogs are better than cats.

26) Whenever she pulls out her wand, tsk your tongue and say, "Ah, ah, the Ministry does not want us practicing unsafe magic. We are learning the theories only."

27) Hide her wand then let a Boggart loose in her rooms, and see how she does without magic. Let her depend on her theories for help.

28) All class, open your eyes so wide that they bug out, and smile like the Chesire cat. Never let your gaze leave her face.

29) Invite her to tea. Invite Firenze as well.

30) Lock them in a room together and see who wins.