30 Ways to Piss Off The Harry Potter Cast [Watty Awards 2011]

30 Ways to Piss Off Dobby

A/N: Hey guys! So sorry that I haven't uploaded in forEVER! I've had some personal issues to work out (and it was some scary stuff), plus my friends have been doing their best to drive me broke by doing stuff that involves spending money. So, now that I have no money to spend...I've been mooching off of my parents. But you don't really care about my money problems. So...the one you've all been waiting for... 30 WAYS TO PISS OFF DOBBY!!!!!! Yay! I will also be uploading Obsessed and Escaping soon, for any of you that read the other two. :) Ciao, loves!

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30 Ways To Piss Off Dobby

1)      Touch Harry Potter.

2)      Smell Harry Potter.

3)      Taste Harry Potter.

4)      Eat Harry Potter.

5)      Do anything else to Harry Potter including but not limited to: slapping, kicking, punching, maiming, killing, scratching, licking, biting, flicking, being nice to, snapping with a rubber band, thinking of, talking to, looking at, singing to, and/or passing a note to Harry Potter. Also included is getting dirt on Harry Potter and locking him in a room.

6)      Ask him why he isn’t pretty like Legolas.

7)      Mention the Malfoys.

8)      Re-bond him to the Malfoys.

9)      Lock him in a room with the Malfoys.

10)   Tie him to a broom and let it fly off.

11)   Ask him if he’ll play catch with you and a friend. Inform him that he is the ‘ball’ since he’s small enough.

12)   Attach an electric collar to him while he’s asleep. Set up the invisible fence around the room, so that when he goes to leave, the collar shocks him.

13)   Tell him that the collar is to make sure he does as told.

14)   Then ask him to make you a ‘sammich’. (PM me if you don’t know what that is…might only be an American thing, for you non-Americans… peace! :] )

15)   Pull his ears.

16)   Paint a tennis ball to look like an eyeball, and tell him it came from his cousin Floppy.

17)   Pants him. Er…towel him? Whatever, just rip away the towel. Actually…don’t do that. The horror might be too much for you.

18)   Lock him in a room with Hermione and get her going on the merits of S.P.E.W.

19)   Threaten to feed him to a Basilisk.

20)   Threaten to feed Harry Potter to a Basilisk.

21)   Challenge him to a staring contest, then poke him in the eyes.

22)   Bring up the number of times he nearly got Harry Potter killed second year, then comment on how bad Harry’s luck is, having gotten stuck with Dobby as his protector.

23)   Tease another house elf.

24)   More specifically, tease Winky.

25)   Give Winky firewhiskey, or something stronger.

26)   Throw a party for the house elves, and ‘accidentally’ free them all, then give them alcohol.

27)   Poke/pull his nose.

28)   Follow him around saying, “You will not hurt Harry Potter,” in as close of a voice match as you can.

29)   Taser him.

30)   Knock him over, then claim you didn’t see him because he was so short. Then breathe a sigh of relief and loudly proclaim your gladness that you didn’t step on him and squish him.