30 Ways to Piss Off The Harry Potter Cast [Watty Awards 2011]

30 Ways to Piss Off Lucius Malfoy

A/N: As requested...

For some reason, this was the hardest to do. I was just low on creativity this time...ugh. Sorry. Hopefully a few of these are humorous. Several are a bit more subtle in their humor...anyways, enjoy!

~+~

30 Ways to Piss Off Lucius Malfoy

1)      Introduce him to Hermione/Lucius, Draco/Lucius, Snape/Lucius, Harry/Lucius, Voldemort/Lucius fanfics...in fact, just introduce him to any Lucius fanfics. He'll love them.

2)      Ask him how Dobby is doing.

3)      Ask him how he feels about Dementors.

4)      Ask him how the food is in Azkaban.

5)      Then sing Hannah Montana's "Nobody's Perfect".

6)      Tell him his first mistake was following a pedophile.

7)      Sniff him loudly, then comment, "Phew, I thought that was me for a second! Now I see why you always have that look on your face..."

8)      Replace his cane with a furry pink baton.

9)      Every time he enters a room, whistle loudly and make a few catcalls.

10)   Then start singing, "He's too sexy for his robes...too sexy for his robes..."

11)   Then clap your hand to your mouth and say, "Oh, I forgot! I must not tell lies..."

12)   Dress up as Voldemort and follow him around saying, "Son, I am disappoint."

13)   Get him a lapdog, and tell him, "Birds of a feather flock together."

14)   Imperius Wormtail to follow him around, asking, "How may I please you, my lord," while waggling his eyebrows.

15)   Tell him Draco eloped with Harry Potter.

16)   Ask him to retrieve a prophecy from the Ministry for you.

17)   Ask him if you can borrow his wand. Tell him the Dark lord needs it.

18)   Ask him to the Quidditch World Cup.

19)   Ask him if you can taste his blood. After all, if you don't, who knows if he really is a Pureblood?

20)   Tell him Barbie's hair is longer and blonder.

21)   If he ever smiles, widened your eyes and look terrified.

22)   Then hand him a stick and say, "H-here. I liked you better before."

23)   Hum "It's a Small World" loudly and obnoxiously. Don't stop, even when hexed.

24)   Get an old diary and ask him to keep it safe for you.

25)   Make sure to lecture him on making sure Harry Potter doesn't steal it.

26)   Give him an old sock.

27)   Comment on the irony of his name meaning Light, when he's so obviously evil.

28)   After a failed mission, pat his back and tell him it's alright. He can't win them all.

29)   Continue on to comment on how Harry Potter just happens to win all the time. Beginner's luck, maybe? Prolonged beginner's luck, that is...

30)   Hide his mirror. And his hairbrush. And his shampoo.