You're Good at Looking at Me like I'm See Through

You Don't Know You're Beautiful

After Niall had gone, the weekend passed uneventfully, aside from Marcel's incessant chattering with Anne about Niall and wearing on Harry's nerves as a result. (Mum, he's the nicest, sweetest, hotte– sweetest guy. And he speaks Spanish!" Yes, we're just  friends! No, I don't like him like that, that'd be  weird like-pftt... Mum!) Harry had tried his hardest to act as normal and unbothered as possible, but he wasn't entirely sure it was of any use, not with Anne's penchant for seeing through him at all times. The way Anne had looked at him most of the time, with a smile that was entirely too wise for his liking, was unnerving.

Despite all of that, Harry was eager to see Niall again, and, a rare occurrence for him, was incredibly excited for the school week to start. That was enough to carry him through Marcel's endless Niall-centric gushing, and Anne's suggestive glances over Marcel's shoulder.

Come Monday though, glimpses of Niall were far and few between, and there was no interaction to speak of. His break only came at lunch, when he caught sight of him sitting alone at lunch. It had occurred to Harry that he'd never actually seen Niall in the cafeteria, and pondering this, he steeled himself for the walk over.

Marcel, however, beat him to it, streaking from the corner of his eye to settle next to Niall. It seemed to start some sort of a chain reaction, with a lot of other people peeling off to make their way over. Hurrying, he managed to catch a seat directly across from Niall and was just about to say hello when Kendall dove in next to him. She immediately launched into a conversation that meant to be one-on-one, but Harry was wary of that trap after so long and worked hard to involve the rest of the table until it was entirely out of her hands.

Kendall.

Head cheerleader, and sweet, albeit quite determined. There was a string of other things that made her so well-liked around school and so influential, and Harry could appreciate all of that, as a friend. The problem was, however, that Kendall was not all interested in friendship, and, rather doggedly, pursued something romantic with him and had been since around the end year ten. He'd tried to let her down gently, and then later, a little less gently, but it seemed to have no effect that he could see. So, after so many awkward conversations and much obvious flirting, he'd developed a series of tactics for evasion. It wasn't entirely that he didn't like her like that, but also the weird feeling that she didn't really like him, but some idea of him or something.

The conversation had gotten lively, and he'd managed to get everyone at the table engaged, except for the one person he really wanted to talk to. Harry watched as Marcel animatedly told some story that had Niall quietly giggling into a hand as a light blush rose in his cheeks.

Lunch continued on like that. Kendall attempted a footsie match under the table until someone on her left got annoyed at her misses, kept making prolonged eye contact with him and giving awkward compliments, and "accidentally" grazing his arm all the while.

Eventually, in the middle of dodging one of Kendall's questions, Harry caught Niall's eye, and Niall smiled back, bright and infectious. He trailed off, mouth going dry instantly as he tried to return the beam, and amazed at how Niall managed to look so breathtaking under fluorescents as pale as he was. He was about to say something, anything, when Kendall's hand on his arm stole his attention.

She laughed loudly, never taking her hand away. "Harry, that was hilarious, God! And then what?" He raised his hand to shake out his curls, successfully dislodging the hand, but he wasn't sure if the result was better or worse. Kendall just rotated her body towards him, face cupped in her hands as she hung off of his words.

Just like that, the moment was gone, and Harry could never quite manage another mutual gaze.

People began to peel off just before the bell rang, until the full table only had a handful left, pulled up chairs littering the edges. Kendall clung on, mentioning her birthday party, which, if Harry was correct, was still months away. Eventually, she too left, but only because of how far her next class was. Marcel was the last one there, aside from Harry and Niall, but he dashed off with a "Gonna be late!" and a hurried apology, ever the perfect attendance student.

And then it was just the two of them apart from a few stragglers dotting the much quieter cafeteria. Niall stood, leisurely rifling through his bag and preparing to go on his way.

"Hey," Harry called out, unwilling to waste the moment alone.

"Hiya, Harry!" Niall rounded the table so that they were shoulder to shoulder, sending him an easy grin that made him feel shy, as they sort of ambled forward. "Who was that girl? The one that was blatantly flirting with you the whole time."

Harry tried to play it off, not really wanting to get into it. "Oh, that was just Kendall. She wasn–"

"Mate," Niall stopped dead in his tracks to look at Harry in disbelief, "She has it bad." As Harry scrambled to come up with some sort of denial or something to change the subject with, Niall's expression changed. He looked up at Harry through his eyelashes, pursing his lips as he leaned in. "You are so funny, Hazzy!" he said, his voice saccharine sweet, "Tell me that one story again!"

He brushed a hand up his arm, making Harry shiver a little as he looked into those twinkling blue eyes, entranced. A long moment passed where the two stood silent together, frozen until Niall broke the odd tension with a wide grin. "Take it from me, if you're not gonna take your head out of your ass, she's def–"

"Fine, I know already! She's made it plenty clear, I just don't see her that way, and I'm not into her like that..." He was trying to stress it, but Niall looked a bit lost. The bell rang, pausing their conversation as the tones sounded, but right after Niall spoke again.

"Yeah, but–"

"It won't ever happen, trust me." Harry smiled to sell it, but Niall just squinted at him.

"Are you trying to, like, tell me you're gay or something?"

"No, I am not. Well, actually, I really don't label mys–Not the point. I just don't feel the same, and it's been like this since year ten. Tried every trick in the book to shake her, but I swear it just gets worse."

"Surely she can't be that bad? Not even a shot? Not to sound super shallow or anything, but she seemed really nice and smart, and she's obviously well-liked and pretty. I may be queer as fuck, but I've got eyes, dude."

Before Harry could think over his words, he opened his mouth in response. "Could say the same about you." Harry stood mortified, and Niall froze for a second, incredulity flickering across his face. He seemed to shake what came over him so quickly, Harry wasn't quite sure he'd seen anything at all. Giving Harry a weak jab in the arm, Niall chuckled a little.

"Sure do know how to put 'em on, you charming bastard." Harry might've been mistaken in blurting it out like that, but he certainly wasn't joking, and something in him felt it was important to let Niall know this.

"I'm serious, Niall, you're pretty cool." He felt a bit flushed at his words which he felt to be rather bold given the circumstances, before looking up to see a slight frown on Niall's face.

"Thank you, but...I don't need to be showered with compliments." The frown deepened further as he talked, "Especially one's that aren't true." It was low, quiet, and packed full of emotion, so it took Harry a bit to piece together what he'd said. He was sure he wasn't meant to hear that and was at a loss for words. Niall hiked up his bag and plastered on smiles too bright to be real. "We're going to be so late, and I really need to be off. Bye, Harry!" With that, Niall hastened for his class, leaving Harry confused.

He hoped he hadn't ruined this fragile, new friendship with Niall, but he mostly felt sort of sad that felt that way. As he trudged to his hated science class, Harry wondered what had happened for someone as great as Niall to get down on themself like that. This wasn't the first time, either, that he'd seen some sort of hint that something had happened to him. Amazingly, as late as he was, the teacher hadn't done anything about it. Harry took his seat, letting the monotone droning of the lecture wash over him and pondering these things.