Tomorrow Will Come

Thirty five

"More? More tomatoes?" Mary asked teasingly, and RJ giggled, nodding as he ate the rest of his dinner, tomato juice around his grinning mouth.
"Yes! They're my favourite."
"They were your daddy's favourite's too. He loved tomatoes. And peas." Michonne added with a gentle smile, and RJ beamed, proud to share it with his father.
"Was his favourite colour pink too?" RJ asked earnestly, as it was Mary's turn to chuckle.
"Sure, bud."
"Hey, eat up, I wanna talk to Mary real quick before we do bedtime." Michonne said softly to RJ and Judith, RJ's extra helping of tomatoes and Judith's half full plate still on the dinner table.
"Why?" Judith asked in confusion, her forehead wrinkling, as did Mary's.
"None of your business, nosey," Michonne teased, "just something about the infirmary, nothing much. Don't worry."
"I'm done anyway." Judith shrugged, shovelling a few more mouthfuls of food into her mouth before leaving, RJ following suit, putting a loose tomato in his pocket as he ran upstairs.
"I just needed to quickly talk to you about the situation with antibiotics. Now the flu's mostly over, we don't need as many on hand, but we used most of our stash on the few cases that turned into pneumonia, and then two other people are on antibiotics at the moment."
"I know," Mary said, half confused, half uninterested, "I help grow the penicillin. We've pretty much ran out, just enough to finish the courses that three people have left, and a tiny emergency stash. It'll be a while before we grow anymore, so we be careful. We already barely use any, we use natural stuff for most infections. It's fine."
"No, it's not. It's fine for us, Moo, but the Kingdom had the same flu. But a bit worse, and they've not got any left. They've got no antibiotics, and the Hilltop has about the same as us."
"Mom, I'm one of the leaders. I know this."
"We've got to give ours to Hilltop. We can't have spares, or reserves. One of the people on antibiotics is basically better..."
"No. He's not, he's three years old. His wound isn't infected, but he needs to finish the course. It's imperative he finishes his course, mom. Their could be some bacteria left. No, we're not giving his antibiotics away."
"I spoke to the family. They're happy to take the risk, and we're gonna go on a big run. Someone from Oceanside thinks they found a place, this bunker thing. They found it and said it looks untouched but completely swarmed, so we're gonna do a run. I thought I'd let you know, 'cos you missed the meeting the other day when you was sick, since you're one of the leaders and doctors and all. We're gonna do it together, all four groups, and after everyone's got what they need, we'll split the rest of the meds."
"Okay. Okay, that's fine. Thanks for consulting me. That's fine, I thought it was something awful. Yeah, we can do that," Mary nodded, "but I'm going too. When?"
"Two days. It's gonna be bad, Moo, I don't..."
"I'm going. I'm one of the leaders and I'm a doctor. I'm going. Please don't argue with me on it, 'cos I am."
"Okay. Okay, I can let you go."
"Good. Who else is going? From here?"
"Me, Aaron, Nira, a few others in the security team."
"Okay. I'm taking your place."
"You are not! Not a chance. I need to be there to keep an eye on you and..."
"Mom, no offence, but I can take care of myself. I'm kind of a badass too, and I'm fine alone. And if something does go wrong, RJ and Judith can't lose us both. And if something happens to Nira, I'd like knowing you're watching out for Jennie and Toby. And for Gracie. Just in case. And I'm not backing out. I'll take your place. Carl did it for dad a few times, I'm sure. It's my turn. I hate to break it to you, but I'm kind of the most badass person out there. Even including you. Sorry, but you did raise me. I'm going."
"I raised a stubborn kid," Michonne mumbled, rolling her eyes, "but, you're also right. And someone does need to be here incase Alpha..."
"They won't."
"I know. It makes sense. Clever clogs."
"I know." Mary beamed, half teasing, half proud. She paused for a second, then breathed in slowly, knowing it was the moment. "Mom? Can I talk to you about something?"
"Of course," Michonne confirmed, "always."
"But don't tell anyone?"
"Of course I won't. What?" Michonne said quickly, worrying over Mary's anxiety.
"I... Mom, I... Like, mom, so... I like girls. I like Jennie. A lot. She's my girlfriend. I love her." Mary stuttered, biting her lip.
"Jennie?"
"Yeah." Mary whimpered, panicking as Michonne walked over, her blood gushing cold, but all her fear dispersed when her mother hugged her instead of hitting her, which was her first, sudden fear.
"Mary. That's fine. That's fine, I promise. Of course that's fine. I... I lost my two sons, my partner, the love of my life. I lost four of the people I loved most in the world. I'd give anything for you to be happy. Does she make you happy?"
"So happy, mom. She makes me feel safe, and happy, and... Yeah. I'm happy."
"Then that's all I want for you. All I want is for you to be happy. We've all lost too much for anyone to care about that type of thing. But even if the world was like it used to be, even if I hadn't lost the boys, and we were in the real world, it'd be fine. I'd still be happy for you. No matter what, it always has been and always will be fine."
"I don't want to tell other people yet. I don't know if I'm ready. Not for everyone to know."
"That's fine. That's fine, my angel. In your own time."
"Do... Do you think daddy would understand?"
"Oh, Mary. Of course he would. He'd be better than I am with understanding it, and hopefully I'm doing alright. God, your dad would be... He'd be so excited for you."
"He's not dead, mom," Mary whispered, hugging her tearful mother, "he's not. I feel it in me. I feel it in my bones. In my heart. He's alive."
"Mary..."
"Don't. Don't Mary me. I lost both of my biological parents. I lost my mom. But losing them was different to dad. I know he's still out there."
"Mary, it's just because you've not seen the... Because we haven't had closure. We haven't had a body." Michonne explained gently, but Mary shook her head.
"When I look at the stars, I know. I know he's looking at them too. I'll never believe he's dead, not unless I see the body. I'm serious."
"Okay. Okay, Moo. We can keep looking, yeah?"
"I go once a week with Rosita. To walk on the river. You could come if you want."
"Maybe." Michonne nodded, squeezing Mary's skinny body, inhaling the smell of her shampoo bar and suncream and dirt, never wanting to let her daughter go. And she decided that in that moment, even though she'd felt like Rick was dead, even though it pained her to keep searching, keep going, she decided she'd keep looking for him. For Mary. For closure. For some peace for the Grimes family.