Guilt

Chapter 4

Regina never talked about her past anymore. She constantly told herself that was because she'd moved on and she was over it, but it was really because she didn't have anyone to talk to.

That was why she decided to talk with Emma. She remembered how much it'd helped her to talk to people after Daniel had died.

Daniel had been her first friend, her first lover and the first person to truly understand her. She'd felt like she'd lost everything after he'd died. Yet, talking soothed the pain and she hoped that it would do the same for Emma.

Normally, she tried to stay as far away from her students and their family as possible, but she'd already failed that before she talked to Emma in her classroom.

To say she was embarrassed, was an understatement. When Emma walked inside that room, Regina hoped that she was just seeing things and that Emma wasn't actually present. She hadn't expected the conversation to get so heartfelt.

She'd never had this happen before. Emma was very young to have a sixteen year old daughter, so who could've guessed?

Regina looked at her phone and then at the door in front of her. If Emma hadn't given her a fake address, this had to be her apartment. She was quite early and she didn't know whether to wait outside for a couple of minutes, or knock on the door and see if she could get inside earlier.

Eventually, she decided to just go for it, so she inhaled deeply and knocked on the door. She heard someone stumbling inside before the door opened.

A slightly disheveled Emma appeared. The woman was dressed in her pajamas and her hair was tied up in a messy bun. She looked like she just got out of bed and Regina wouldn't be surprised if that actually was the case.

"Ohh crap, I totally forgot you were coming. Sorry, uhh.. come on in," Emma said and she opened the door further for Regina to enter.

"I know I'm a few minutes early, but we said three, right?"

"Yes, I think so. Sorry, I'll clean everything up a bit." Emma hastily started putting the dishes away and cleared the table of any mess. "You can sit down, if you'd like."

Regina sat down on a chair and watched as Emma moved in her pajamas, hurrying to clean everything up. "Can I help with anything?"

"No, thanks." The woman put some pencils away, before she sat down opposite Regina, at the table. Regina observed the blonde for a moment, before she cleared her throat.

She had many questions to ask Emma, but she knew this wasn't about her. She knew Emma felt guilty about something, but she didn't know whether it had anything to do with the accident.

"So, how are you?" Regina started. It was her go to line to start every conversation, even though it was very cliche.

"We can skip the small talk. Do you want anything to drink?"

"No, thank you. I'm alright. The question wasn't just to start a simple conversation with you. I really want to know how you're doing."

Emma didn't think she'd ever seen such sincerity in anyone's eyes. Regina looked at her in concern, yet not in the pitiful way everyone else looked at her.

"I am alright, I guess," Emma replied. She wasn't doing worse than other days. If someone had asked her a year ago if she was alright and she felt like this, she'd most certainly answered no. But her standards of feeling well had dropped a lot and she considered a day like this as a good one.

Regina's lips curled up in a slight smile. "I'm glad to hear that. Although I do know you're mainly saying that, because you don't want to explain how you truly feel deep inside."