Guilt

Chapter 22

Leo was already six months old. The time had flown and Emma couldn't believe her grandson was already this big. Ruby was right, he had lots of Hope's features and the girl loved her son more than anything.

Emma had been incredibly occupied with taking care of the child. Of course, Hope did a lot. She tried to do as much as she could, but she had to focus on school as well.

A while ago, Hope had gone back to school. Fortunately, she'd been able to keep up with many subjects and she wasn't that far behind. Emma wondered how her daughter had managed that and she was proud of her for being able to juggle so many things at once.

Emma often took Leo to the gallery. It was always quiet and the baby could sleep there as much as he needed, while she was working.

Ruby and Regina helped out a lot as well. Emma hadn't said anything to Regina about it, but she'd noticed that the woman hadn't once held him. She gave him attention and helped Emma with changing his diaper by handing her stuff, but she hadn't held the baby herself.

And Emma couldn't help but wonder why that was. She knew that Regina didn't want to have a baby and she didn't have anything with little kids, but she hadn't thought Regina really wouldn't touch the child.

Of course, it was her decision and she didn't have to do anything she didn't want. Emma could see the adoration Regina had for Leo in her eyes and she loved seeing that.

The baby was lying in Emma's arms. He was drinking milk out of a bottle and made soft sounds, with his eyes closed. Emma couldn't help but smile as she looked at the little boy that reminded her of the time Hope was his age.

She'd never had a chance to peacefully feed Hope in a nice environment. She practically raised the baby in a car, because no foster home would take her with a child and Killian's parents had passed away when he was young as well.

Hope was still at school, but Regina had a short day and she'd planned to meet up with her. Despite Ruby's prophecies and hopes, she and Regina weren't a couple.

They hadn't even slept together since Regina's divorce and Emma had to admit that she missed their physical intimacy.

Someone knocked on the door. "It's open," Emma replied. She hoped the person could hear it, because she didn't want to be too loud and startle Leo.

Regina walked inside the apartment and closed the door. She looked at Emma and Leo with adoration and smiled. "How is he doing today?"

"Great, I think. He can't talk yet, but he hasn't been acting strange," Emma replied with a smile. She took the empty bottle from Leo's lips and for a brief moment the baby opened his eyes. "Come sit."

Regina sat down on the couch and looked at Emma. "And how are you?"

"I'm doing great as well," Emma replied and her eyes drifted from Leo to Regina. "Do you.. want to hold him?"

Regina swallowed and curtly shook her head. "No, thank you. He's so peaceful with you right now."

"You've never held him," Emma said. "That's okay, of course. I just thought that maybe you'd like to."

"I.. he looks so content with you, I don't want to wake him up," Regina replied. She didn't know what other excuse she could come up with, except for the truth, which was still that she was terrified to hurt the baby.

"Can I know why you don't want to hold him?"

Regina bit her lower lip and dropped her gaze. "Uh, well.. to be honest, I'm just afraid that I end up hurting him. He's so tiny and vulnerable and it would really be something for me to just drop him."