I'm Tired || Daisuga

- Last Call

⚠️MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING⚠️: Contains thoughts of suicide, suicide attempt and other triggering things , if you are easily triggered please click away. (This notion will be above every chapter)

Suga POV
Once I'd made up my mind, everything around me became surreal, my fathers yelling became white noise and the houses that flew by the window all blended together. I barely notice we were in the driveway before a shove in my shoulder brought me back.

"Get out, you fucking disgrace." He grumble, before heading back to work.

I stood in the driveway for a while, staring and appreciating the house I grew up in, it was all a perfect childhood until high school.

If only I were better, I could've made it through. I thought with a small smile.

I headed inside, and didn't bother taking off my shoes as I ran upstairs. No one was home, so nobody could stop me. A bitter laugh escaped my lips; I mumbled to myself, sounding crazy.

"No one would stop me." But that wasn't true, as a mental image of a dark haired boy, smiling brightly.

Daichi...

He deserved a better best friend, not someone broken, or imperfect, not me. He deserved some sort of goodbye, maybe if I told him about how much I loved him, he'd hate me. And it might not hurt him as much when I'm gone..

Checking the time on my phone, I saw that in about ten minutes, the sudents at school would be let out for lunch. I could call him then, tell him I loved him and say goodbye. With my new found confidence, I got everything I needed.

About fifteen minutes later, I stood in my bathroom with a bottle of aspirin. My phone on the counter was tempting me to call the one I loved and I complied, dialing with surprisingly calm fingers.

"Suga??" He answered after only one ring.

"Hey Daich." I laughed bittersweetly.

"Are you okay, what was that?? Your dad is so..." he trailed off not to be rude, something I loved about him.

"Yeah he's a dick.., and it's okay, just that, I'm tired" I smiled, sitting on the floor the phone pressed tight to my ear.

"Suga? Are you ok? You only swear when you're upset usually.." he pried gently.

"Yep Daich I'm fine! I just wanted to tell you something really quick!" I chirped, tears forming in my irritated eyes.

"Alright but I'm coming to see you after school." He said firmly, making me laugh, all the while crying silently.

"Well I doubt you'll want to after I tell you..." I muttered to myself.

"You're worrying me, what's wrong Koushi?" I blushed when he used my given name, it made my heart race a little more.

"H-Hey Daichi?" I stuttered.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"Suga I—"

"Don't! I don't want or need an answer. I just wanted you to know before I do this. I've been in love with you since our second year" I said with a small smile, "I hope you can forgive me for this, I know it's nothing big, you really are my best friend. I'm sorry I ruined everything by liking you, but you won't have to worry anymore 'Kay?" I stifled intense sobs, voice wavering in the process.

"Suga, what are you doing right now?" I heard the concern in his voice but I couldn't be bothered to address it.

"Nothing important..., anyways that's all I wanted to say. So yeah, bye bye Daichi, I love you, I don't think I'll ever stop. Thank you for everything." I ended the call there not listening to his pleas to stay on the line.

Dumping out a handful of the little tablets, I swallowed them as fast as I could, not even crying anymore. Another handful and I began feeling a little sick.
The bottle was mostly empty now, but it wasn't full to start off with. My breathing quickly speed up, matching my heartbeat.

How long ago did I take them?

My mind got foggier by the minute, leaving me dizzy and and confused. Picking up the bottle, I debaited taking the rest of the pills.

Everything was spinning, I choked out a ragged breath. The room looked blurry, but maybe it was my eyes.

How many did I even take...?

Turning the nearly empty bottle of Aspirin in my hands, I see the label. I can barely read it; 'pain relief', '325mg per tablet', '1000 tablets'.

Half a bottle should be just about enough to kill me, right....?

The nausea set in about ten minutes later, and I felt myself begin to throw up. I tried to hold it in but instead, I threw up twice in the toilet. I was pale and tired, slumping against the wall to lean my head back painfully.

I tried standing and made my way to the sink, turning it on and splashing my face with water to get rid of the burning feeling. I threw up again, this time on myself, and began to shake violently. I fell to the ground, and began sobbing harder than I ever had, heaving breaths heavier than my own body weight. I couldn't hear my own cries, or the running water, or the agonized scream I let out as I leaned against the locked bathroom door..

It'll be over soon, I tried telling myself as my eyes rolled back in their sockets and I lost all consciousness