𝐅.𝐑.𝐈.𝐄.𝐍.𝐃.𝐒 | 𝐋𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐒𝐭𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧/𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐃𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝐓𝐖𝐎

The One With The Sonogram At The End

SCENE 1:
CENTRAL PERK CAFE

HARRY: "What you guys don't understand is, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it."

NIALL: "Yeah, right!...Y'serious?"

ZAYN: "Oh, yeah!"

MAYA: "Everything you need to know is in the first kiss."

HARRY: "Absolutely."

LOUIS: "Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean, it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out."

LIAM: "Yeah, and—and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that—that...that's not why we brought the ticket."

LOUIS: "The problem is, though, after the concerts over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again, y'know? I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic...basically just trying to stay awake."

MAYA: "Yeah, well, word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home, listening to that album alone."

NIALL: (pauses) "...Are we still talking about sex?"

SCENE 2:
MUSEUM OF PREHISTORIC HISTORY

(Liam and a co-worker (Marsha) are setting up an exhibit which includes some mannequins of cave people)

LIAM: "No, it's good, it is good, it's just that—mm—doesn't she seem a little angry?"

MARAHA: "Well, she has issues."

LIAM: (deadpans) "Does she?"

MARSHA: "He's out banging other women over the head with a club, while she sits at home trying to get the mastodon smell out of the carpet!"

LIAM: "Marsha, these are cave people. Okay? They have issues like, 'Gee, that's glaciers getting kinda close'. See?"

MARSHA: "Speaking of issues, isn't that your ex-wife?" (points over to Cheryl standing watching the two of them outside the exhibit)

LIAM: (trying to ignore her) "No. No."

MARSHA: "Yes, it is. Cheryl! Hi!"

LIAM: "Okay, okay, yes, it is." (waves) "How about i'll, uh, catch up with you in the Ice Age." (Marsha leaves and Liam waves Cheryl into the exhibit)

LIAM: "Hi."

CHERYL: "So."

LIAM: "You look great. I, uh...I hate that."

CHERYL: "Sorry. You look great too."

LIAM: "Ah, well, in here, anyone who...stands erect...so, what's new? Still...uh..."

CHERYL: "A lesbian?"

LIAM: "Well...you never know. How's, um...how's the family?"

CHERYL: "Marty's still totally paranoid. Oh, and, uh—"

LIAM: "Why—why are you here, Cheryl?"