𝐅.𝐑.𝐈.𝐄.𝐍.𝐃.𝐒 | 𝐋𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐒𝐭𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧/𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐃𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝐎𝐍𝐄

The One Where Harry Gets a Roommate (Pilot)

SCENE 1:
CENTRAL PERK CAFE

HARRY: "There's nothing to tell. It's just some guy I work with." (shrugging, taking a sip of his coffee)

NIALL: (eyeing Harry) "Come on. You're going out with the guy, there's gotta be somethin' wrong with him."

LOUIS: "So, does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?" (Harry rolls his eyes)

ZAYN: "Wait, does he eat chalk?" (They all stare, bemused. Zayn shrugs his shoulders) "Just 'cause I don't want him to go through what I went through with Carl—Oh!"

HARRY: "Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and—not having sex."

LOUIS: "Sounds like a date to me"

[ Time Lapse]

LOUIS: "Alright, so I'm back in High School, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria and I realise I am totally...naked!"

HARRY: (everybody laughs) "Oh yeah, I've had that dream."

LOUIS: "Then, I look down and I realise there is a phone...there..."

NIALL: (confused) "Instead of...?"

LOUIS: "That's right!"

NIALL: (shaking his head) "Oh—Never had that dream."

ZAYN: "Yeah, nope."

LOUIS: "All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring and it turns out it's my mother," (everybody chuckles and raises their eyebrows) "Which is very, very weird because..." (shakes his head with furrowed eyebrows) "She never calls me."

[ Time Lapse]
Liam arrives at the Cafe

LIAM: "Hi." (mortified)

NIALL: "This guy says 'Hello', I wanna kill myself." (jokes)

HARRY: "Are you okay, Sweetie?" (grabbing his brothers wrist)

LIAM: "I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out my mouth and tied it around my neck..."

LOUIS: "Cookie?" (asked Louis with an innocent smile on his face after Liam was done expressing how he felt)

LIAM: (glared down at Louis but Harry interrupted before he could say anything back)

HARRY: "Cheryl moved her stuff out today." (He explained for Liam)

ALL: "Oh..."

HARRY: "Let me get you some coffee."

LIAM: (nodding, taking a seat) "Thanks."

ZAYN: "Ew...Uh." (He starts to pluck at the air just in front of Liam)

LIAM: "No. Oh, no. No, don't. Stop cleansing my aura." (pushing Zayn's hands away)

ZAYN: (continuing to do it) "But—"

LIAM: "No! Leave my aura alone, okay?" (Zayn rolls his eyes but continues to do his knitting instead of cleansing Liam) "I'll be fine, all right? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy."