SHERLOCK I, II, III & IV • #wattys2016

Trust

"I was like you and yes, you were like me. We were so much alike, yet unique as can be. Friends till the end we were quite the right team." - Kareem Salama's "Aristotle And Averroes"

I trusted Sherlock Holmes. I trusted him with my life. I think, if he was here, he would say he same about me. I remember when I would wake him up in the middle of the night to unravel a knotted thought in my head, and he would just say one sentence that would make all fears and nervousness disappear. That's how well he knew me. He was like the voice that completed my thoughts.

I really couldn't think of anyone I trusted more than Sherlock-- he was the soul keeper of everything I shared with him. If you look up the definition of "trust," you'll see that it has nothing to do with romance (just to clarify). It means, firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. That's what I had whenever Sherlock around. Now that he's gone, I have trouble even trusting my own thoughts. I over analyze and always expect the worse. I keep my voice low in social situations in fear of saying the wrong thing -- I feel like when I was in primary school. I don't feel like myself.

When Sherlock was with me, my mind was always clicking. Always trying to keep up with his. There wasn't a quiet moment in my head when we were out on a case. I loved it. And I miss it.

God, Sherlock. I had a fit again with Mrs. Hudson. I came in last night and saw that she had ripped out the old wallpaper and replaced it with a new design. It wasn't the new design that upset me, but the fact that your moronic smiley face had been removed. I couldn't tell her that was the reason because I am sure she'd think me mental. But, all the same, I told her to never do anything to the flat without my permission. Bless her, she didn't speak to me at all afterwards -- she still hasn't. Perhaps, I should apologize to her. You would tell me to go do so, just to shove me around.

Well, Christmas is over. Start of a new year. A new year with no you. Maybe I'll find a nice girl and we'll settle down and you'll soon fade into a memory I once knew to be real. But until then, I'll just miss you.