Here Comes the Sun (Complete)

Just Relax

The fourth time came during one of Toby's darkest moments. Brian and Tim had been gone for almost a week on whatever kind of mission the Operator had sent them on this time around. On the one hand, Toby didn't mind them being gone for so long. He'd have the room to himself while they were gone and, so long as he cleaned his mess up, could eat in their room and even allow Smiles to sleep in bed with him (something Brian and Tim rarely enjoyed, as the dog tended to be a snorer; not to mention Jeff could burst in anytime looking for 'his' dog, which annoyed the hell out of everyone involved). He could sleep whenever he wanted and (almost) wake up whenever he wanted. And neither of the other two Proxies could complain, especially about his bad habits.

But on the other hand, that was exactly why he disliked them being gone for any period of time, much less a long one like this. They weren't there for the bad times, especially the chewing and biting; the voices and the bad dreams. While he could consider at least a few of the other inhabitants of the house that came and went semi close friends, none of them could ever really notice when he chewed on his lips, inner cheeks or fingers unless they could figure out the clues. And Toby became quite good at hiding his scars and open wounds when the others were around. He also became a rather decent liar and actor around them; something that Brian especially never once believed and could easily see through. It also became harder to remember to eat at times with Brian not there to ask him if he had, or Tim to make sure he got out of bed each and every morning, even if it meant Toby annoying him on the morning walks.

And, although Toby often hated to admit it, knowing both didn't feel the same way about him -- he missed his two roommates. He missed them being there, even if it meant him being brushed off or ignored, or worse, bombarded by Tim with mild insults and what have you's.

Toby didn't quite remember when this attack had happened; simply that the voices began speaking to him lowly; telling how worthless he was, how much of a coward he could be -- how much of a coward he was. Of how the accident was his fault, how awful and terrible and just plain nasty he was. How he had no friends, no one who cared from him and how Lyra would hate him so much had she lived and likely wanted him as dead as he wanted himself dead. And especially how Brian and Tim didn't return his affections; how they saw him as more of a nuisance, of something they had to watch like a toddler instead of someone they worked with.

So indulged was Toby with his thoughts as he sit in the middle of his bedroom floor, hands bleeding as he sat motionless aside from his mouth tearing off skin and flesh and eyes lifeless as the voices sounded over and over like a mantra, that he didn't even hear the front door open and slam shut and voices resound. Not the footsteps stomping up the stairs to his bedroom and the door swinging open, Tim standing in the doorway and looking down the hall as he shouted something down the hall before turning to walk into the room. Of course, he jumped back at the sight of the young, ticking man who sat slumped on the floor; mask covering the surprised yet extremely concerned expression as he swiftly stepped into the bedroom.

" Fuck . Brain!" Tim quickly shouted back out the open door as he rushed towards the ticking killer, grabbing at his hands and forcing them away from his mouth. They weren't bleeding enough to cause death, but the amount of gashes and wounds were worrisome nonetheless.

"What the hell -- Oh shit, again?" Brain's voice came from the open doorway of their room before hurried footsteps rushed down the hall. "I'll get the med kit!"

It wasn't until strong hands ripped his own away from his mouth that Toby seemed to finally come back to the real world. Tim held them fast even as Toby tried to break away with a cry; his face stern as he stared at Toby with unfazed eyes.

"Stop that," Tim ordered sternly.

Toby found himself obliging; head turned away while tears streamed down his face.