Impact

The Confession

"Help! Someone please let me out!" I yell against the storage room door.

I sit down against the door too tired to keep yelling. I've been doing it for what seems like hours. As I breathe I get that familiar pain in my side. I lean my head back against the door and just sit there catching my breath. Its probably too loud out there for for them to hear me. I don't know the janitor's schedule, but he hasn't been in here all day. He probably cleans after school which means I have to sit here until then. At least my migraine from Oliver's head slam isn't as bad anymore. Its still bad, but not as much. You'd think if someone constantly got migraines they'd get used to them, but nope they still hurt just as bad.

I look around the room and all I see is classroom and cleaning supplies. Nothing I could use to get out. I'll just have to wait. I scoot away from the door and sit against the wall my body aching from the hits. Then I fall to sleep.

                         ~~~

Logan and I run to each other, as he runs his hair blows around. Once we reach each other he smiles and then his face wavers. It slowly changes like a ripple across water and before I can greet him he's turned into Oliver. His smile changes to a more menacing one.

"What did you expect?" He says. "Logan's dead."

He punches me in the face and I try to run but suddenly I can't move.

"I need some help," he says and then my dad appears behind him belt in hand.

He lifts it up and swings to strike.

                       ~~~

"Wake up!" I hear as I come back into reality.

I open my eyes to see the janitor in front of me.

"Did ya get locked in again?"

I nod my head yes. As you can tell this isn't the first time I've gotten trapped here.

"Well you're free to go," he says gesturing towards the open door.

I nod a thank you, get up, and head out. I probably missed the bus, but I knew the way home. All that time of starring out the window pays off when I get locked in the storage room all day. I begin to walk to my house. The cold air hits my face as if saying, wake up!

I walk on the side of the road taking the long path to my house. My mind wanders as I go. I imagine Logan walking with me holding my hand I turn and see the imaginary figure. He's all light blue like the blue on paper and ghostly. He smiles at me and I smile back. This probably looks weird to anyone else because they don't know what I'm picturing, but to me its perfect.

I walk the rest of the way with my hand outstretched holding imaginary Logan's hand, but when I reach my house he puts his hand over his necklace again and fades away. I walk through the door and don't see my dad anywhere. I turn to go to my room but I see his bedroom door is open.

That's weird he always closes it.

I peek in and see that no ones in the room.

He must be with his freinds or something.

I spot something on his nightstand. Since I'm not sure what it is I decide to take a closer look. I go in dodging the beer cans and puting my hand over my face because of the smell. Once I reach the table I see what I thought I had seen. A small hand gun. I reach forward and grab the gun. I check and find it loaded, so I go outside. I go to the willow and sit down against the tree. I turn the gun towards me so I'm staring down the shiny silver barrel.

I finally can end all the pain with just a pull to the trigger.

I take a deep breath and prepare myself. Just as I'm about to fire I feel the hand on my shoulder again. I turn and see my imaginary Logan. This time he's not smiling he looks upset with me. He shakes his head and puts his hand over his necklace before disappearing. I look to where he sat and I see his old necklace.

Had I brought that out here without thinking?

I pick it up and set the gun down. I fiddle with it turning it over and over in my hands. Then I remember one day when Logan was reading to me.

                         ~~~

  "God has a plan for everybody. It might seem like what's happening in your life is horrible, but he has a reason for everything. Before I moved over here I was thinking that it was horrible and I love my state, but if I hadn't of moved I wouldn't of met you. So you see we are just spoiled children asking God to do it our way, but He's firm and says no. Because after all His way is best. In James 1: 2-4 it says: "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

                        ~~~

"God," I cry. "If you truly have a reason for what I'm going through. Please let me know!"

The wind stirs and the leaves pick up and I get a feeling in my heart as if He's saying, Be at peace for I am with you always.

"God," I pray. "I accept you into my heart I love you and believe Jesus died for me. Thank you for everything."

My tears were no longer tears of fear or pain, but of joy in knowing one day I'll be with Jesus. And He will be with me always. I truly love Him with all my heart.

                        ~~~

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