(Complete) The Secret Behind It All ✔️

Chapter 1: The Beginning

     Life without her wouldn't be the same. Her laugh, her smile, her advice is all gone. To where, I have no idea but she left without saying goodbye. People around town used to tell me that losing a parent is the worst, well to me losing a grandma is just as bad. Grandma used to invite me over for tea, tell me about her childhood. Her long schoolgirl days and chasing the boys around the backyard. Grandma wasn't afraid of death, no she was far from it. She would manage to ask the same question every time I came. "If I wanted any of her old things?" I used to always laugh and tell her that she wasn't dying soon. Not to worry about stuff like that. Sure, enough she would forget and would continue her story about cooking with her mama while her brothers wrestled around them. How I long to take those words back, those words acting like death wasn't closing in on her, how if she tried hard enough death wouldn't come for her. It was too late. I remember that day though, it started off like every other day with me grabbing food from the pantry. Only one button hooked on my short overalls with my floral colored shirt running to get to her house. I reached her house, finding her lying on the ground yelling. But how is a 15 year old going to help her? It wasn't long until the yelling stopped and I saw the ambulance arrive. Thank God for the mean old lady across the yard who was watching me panic around my grandma. Telling her to get up and stop faking because it wasn't funny. Imagine that for a second, my last words to my grandma was me telling her that her faking death wasn't funny. That was it. They loaded her up, took her to the hospital, and called my parents. I remember my mom comforting me with food but I couldn't eat. I could only remember the words my grandma was yelling when I arrived. She said-
     "Honey, have you practiced your speech yet?" My mom walks in, dusting herself off. "Everyone is waiting on you downstairs. Your father has his camera so get a move on."
     "I'm coming Mom, I promise." I stand up and look out the window. The trees flowing from side to side in the wind. The birds flying around the field across the building. A wonderful day for a funeral, some would say.
     "Your grandma would be so proud of you for writing her a speech." She said while kissing me on the forehead.
     "Now, that I think of it, can you just read my speech?" The thought of people staring at me makes me nervous all of a sudden.
     "Well- If that's what you want, but I will make sure to tell everyone my daughter wrote it." She grabs my hand and pulls me along but I break free.
     "No please. Can you just talk from your heart? I don't want you to read my speech. It's too personal."
     "Of course, but at least get out of this God forsaken attic, there's dust everywhere and we don't want to ruin your dress."
     "Yes ma'am." We make our way down the stairs. Children run, adults gossip about who knows what, teenagers take selfies by the chocolate fountain. But they all have one thing in common, they are all wearing black. Black, what a terrible color. It means one word, death. I'm guessing that's why everyone wears it to funerals. But of course, they always have this one girl that has a white dress on. Seeing that dress and everyone staring at me, made me angry. I don't know why, but it did. I feel like running up to that girl and yelling at her. Asking her why she wants to disrespect everyone here by wearing white and not wearing black like the rest of us? But my mom saw my face getting red so she grabs my wrist. The tension leaves my body as we pass the girl in white and I see all my friends eating cake and laughing. What are they laughing at? Me? My grandma? My questions go away as we pass them, their faces turning blank as they stare at me. But I soon realize that everyone is staring at me. Do they know I'm the reason she's dead? That I'm one that could have saved her but didn't? We walk into the main room and I stop. Everything inside of me just melts. I go numb as everyone looks at me. But I don't pay attention to them, my eyes focused on the casket. My mom breaks my staring contest with the casket as she picks me up and brings me to the front. So much for trying not to make a big scene. I'm slowly trying to break free but my mom hands me to someone else. Daniel. Mom's boyfriend. He smiles as he throws me on the couch. Everyone has pretty much gotten the idea that they're freaking me out so they have all turned around and minded their business.
     "Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"
     "Leave me alone, Daniel." I snap back, eyes looking at the ground.
     "Hey, look at me," I look up. He's crouched down at my feet, reaching for my hand. "Everything, and I mean everything is going to be alright." I don't respond back. I mean what do I say? Thanks or of course? I'm at a loss of words when he stands up. There it is. The casket. It's right in front of me. I put together that he was at my feet so it would block the view of the casket. Water floods my eyes and I can't see anymore. The water isn't going down though, it's still in my view. I quickly wipe my eyes before any one sees. I can't move when I notice it. In fact, for the next few hours, I never break my vision with the casket. A few friends come to visit but I never pay attention. Kitty hugs me, Sadie wipes her tears, and Audrey stands there. Audrey never liked me or maybe the other way around. I only hang out with her for Kitty. Kitty, one of my best friends, she's a cheerleader, has a boyfriend and everything. Sadie, big math geek, and has an amazing voice. Audrey, best friends with Kitty, she too is on the cheer squad, no boyfriend because all of the boys are scared of her but you didn't hear that from me. Then you have me. Hannah, I'm well- I'm just me. Nothing special about me.
     "Hannah, we're going back down to the beach tomorrow; you should come with!"
Sadie says as she stands in front of me.
     "Ohh uh-" my vision with the casket breaks. "I don't know, I'll have to ask my mom." I turn around and see everyone has left.
     "Everyone has already left, plus we already asked her and she said yes." Audrey says rolling her eyes, which tells me she doesn't want to invite me at all.
     "It will be totes fun!" Kitty says smiling. "Jason's coming." Jason. My best friend, my crush, Kitty's boyfriend. Well if I was going to say no, I'm definitely going to say no now.
     "Is anyone else coming?" I ask hoping for a no but already knowing someone else is probably coming.
     "I invited some of the cheerleaders and the football players are coming, come on it's summer. Time to have some fun." Kitty says. Now way. Absolutely positively NO!
    "What's wrong? Scared of cheerleaders?" Audrey's says laughing. Kitty looks back and signals something.
     "You know, what I'll come." Regretting every word that just came out of my mouth.