An Unreasonable Amount of Pilots: A KiriBaku Story

Chapter 4

< CW  - Self-harm, depression, anxiety, blood (lots), fainting, alcohol mention >

I wake up a half-hour later, drenched in blood.

The irony tang of it coats the air as I woozily sit up, realizing I most likely passed out from blood loss on the tile floor of the shower. At least it'll be easy to drain here. I go to get up but then realize I can't feel my legs, and look down to see deep, deep cuts all across my legs stacked up on top of each other, jagged angry red lines contrasting with my tan skin. It's looking pretty pale right now actually, and I can guess pretty easily I lost around a liter of blood from how disoriented and fatigued I'm feeling.

I have to lay back down since the room's started spinning again, and although a lot of the cuts have stopped bleeding since I've been laying on my back, some of the deeper ones are still seeping down the sides of my legs. I need to bandage these right now before I pass out again.

I am literally so fucking stupid sometimes.

I look over to where I had carelessly tossed my pants on the cold floor of the bathroom, remembering that I had left a couple gauze pads in my pocket. I take a deep breath and try to sit up again, but immediately am accosted by another bout of dizziness and have to lay back down. I should actually probably get stitches for some of these.. But that would mean having Kiri drive me to the hospital. He would worry about me, and I hate hospitals... so let's see if I can get by without professional medical treatment this time.

I can't let these get infected though.. Shit.

I wonder if Kiri has any kind of antibacterial alcohol or antiseptic.. I shiver at the thought of how much that would hurt. But that's what I get for being a dumbass and doing all of these stupid things when Kiri's not home.

I still have no feeling in my legs, and I manage to just barely reach and grab my pants off of the floor. I fish around for the gauze, grabbing a roll of toilet paper as well, and turn on the shower lightly to help rinse off the massive amounts of sticky blood coating my legs, before starting on my makeshift bandaging.

I put the gauze pads on first, wrapping the toilet paper around my legs a couple of times before tying it in a fragile knot to hold it in place. I take a shaky breath before sitting up again, leaning against the slick shower wall as I wait for the room to stop spinning. I really need to get the bandages in the hall, but they're so high up...

I decide to focus on one thing at a time and work on dragging myself out of the shower, my thighs burning at the movement. I can feel some of the barely healed cuts opening back up as I pull myself onto the floor, clenching my teeth at the pain.

I really am stupid, aren't I? What would mom have said about all this?

I push the thought out of my mind, not needing the added emotional pain right now. I inch towards the hallway, every foot a struggle, and finally manage to reach the door. I make it into the hallway, thankful for all the hours I spent at the gym working on my upper body strength.

What a sight I must be, flecked in blood and half-naked, pitifully dragging myself across Kirishima's hallway. My eyes red and puffy and my skin leached of all color, barely managing to stay awake. I slowly approach the shelf, thanking myself for my foresight in putting the bag lower, and manage to hoist myself up into a sitting position next to the shelf. After taking a deep breath, I use the strength in my right bicep to pull myself up by grabbing onto the next shelf. My arm is shaking like a leaf since I'm so dizzy from blood loss, but I see a spot of red on the next shelf up and tell myself forcefully to keep going. I probably slept for a good couple of hours so Kiri should be home almost any minute now... A spike of fear runs through me of Kirishima finding out I did this at his house, or just in general. He'd probably be disgusted by me... And shit, I still have to clean up the bathroom too...