Think About Me

Chapter 10: A Chance

The couch. That's the safest option. It's better than lying in my bed, breathing in what scent of Jude lingers in my sheets.

That's where I sit, curled up near the arm rest and nursing a cup of hot chocolate with Barty in my lap, when Paige bursts through the door. I've heard that door open and close too many times today -people coming and going from my life- but this time it's a comfort, because I know the person walking through it is here to stay.

I notice her face fall when she assesses me, then I look away when she heads toward me. Barty jumps from my lap when she nears, saunters off to who knows where when she sits down beside me.

"Look," she says, taking the hand that Barty's just freed up. "I shouldn't have left you last night. I'm so sorry."

I just shake my head at her. I've kept her so far out of the loop that she thinks that's what has me so upset. "I don't care about that."

"Oh. Well, then, what's wrong?"

"I broke things off with Tyler."

"Okay. Why?"

I still haven't looked at her, but I can feel the confusion seeping from her, hovering in the air between us, and I know this is about to be a long conversation. I also know she'll want a full length explanation, but for now, I rise my eyes to hers cautiously and jump to the main culprit of my dismay.

"Because I slept with Jude."

It's like she can't decide between being confused and surprised, and I watch her eyebrows rise and fall over her calculating eyes.

"You... W-with Jude? Jude Taylor?"

I nod miserably.

"When did that happen?"

"About an hour ago."

She blinks rapidly, eyes darting around the room in a way that makes me think she's about to ask where it happened, but she must think better of it because, instead, she asks, "How did that happen?"

"There's a lot I haven't told you," I mumble, the guilt leaking into my voice.

But she doesn't look angry. She just lets out a long sigh and settles into the couch. "Okay. Start at the beginning."

And so I do. I go over the things I've already told her -how I first saw him Monday morning, and our lunch Tuesday- and then I tell her all the rest of it. Our messages Tuesday night, dinner Wednesday night, and the conversation beneath the awning at the foot of the stairs that followed. And when I get into last night's events, she interrupts my monologue.

"I would've never invited them to sit with us last night," she tells me, squeezing my hand. "I'm so sorry."

"You didn't know. I should have told you."

She seems to accept that, and I continue on, delving into everything that happened this morning. I leave out some of the finer details even though I know she wants to know everything, but she doesn't pry, because she knows this isn't the time for that.

She watches me sadly for a moment after I've fallen quiet, then she says softly, "You really do love him, don't you?"

All I do is nod, because what else is there to say?

Her jaw tightens suddenly and she straightens up. "I swear to god, if I ever see him again, I'll kick his ass for leaving you."

Although I would never want her to cause Jude any harm, the idea coaxes a laugh from me. I know it won't happen. She's always been all bark and no bite anyway.