Paper Cut Lover | Kylo Ren

TWENTY-NINE

All at once, my life crashed and smouldered in the raging trenches of hell. 

For a solid second, I genuinely thought that I was suffering from heat stroke and my foggy mind was hallucinating the disturbing sight that I am really met with. 

Rachel Mathews was actually here, in my Father's office with a twisted, open-collared shirt that her knotted, blonde curls sprawled over as the pink dropped from her face, leaving her as white as the walls. 

I could feel the heat of the sun itself, boiling in the pit of my black heart. Everything was happening too soon, and too chaotically. It wasn't the initial rage that I endured at the reaction of finding my Father kissing the annoying girl from my class, who had threatened me with something I once considered to be my biggest fear... It was that upon those realisations, so many more were uncovered and left standing in the thick and uneasy air between us all.

My mind was racing as fast as a horse would run around a track, and the metaphorical hooves were kicking up the burials of my deepest and darkest fears – Ones in which, my own anxiety conjures catastrophic scenarios, which although extremely preposterous, some had the ability to keep me up at night – But this? Not even my darkest and most creative parts of my soul, could have ever imagined something like this. 

Rachel Mathews was the one sleeping with my Father. It made perfect sense, despite its absurd and ridiculous fathoming. It was only a couple of weeks ago, in which I went to that party with Percy and met her cousin, James Green, who told me that very night, that Rachel had already been attending the college, a couple of years prior to me... Which gives the exact amount of time in which my Mother and I, found out that my Father was cheating – Cheating with his receptionist, he lied. 

As time warps around me and the only thing that I can hear is my heartbeat in my eardrums, my Father rushes to fix his collar and squawk useless apologies. My temper was a slowly filling glass. Everything began to dawn upon me, but not softly like a sun would rise upon sand, but horribly wicked, the same as shattered glass would feel, ricocheting upon that very beach. 

Vexation was the shards but they didn't come from the solid chalice which liquid wrath, slowly bean to pool at the top, until spilling from the sides entirely. Slowly, I chug on my raging temper and become drunk on the fury, for now, I simply refuse to acknowledge the lacing of poison, which was the deadliest realisation of them all...

In one swift change, my teeth clamp down on the insides of my cheeks and my eyes narrow at Rachel, who is in the middle of my vision's red target. The blonde girl gasps and twists off the table, just as I saunter towards her, my fist curling and swinging just above her ducked head. 

Blinking at the missed swing, I snap my head back at her as she rushes away, ignoring the shouts of my Father behind my back as I lunge for another throw. I can almost hear the sink of my very heart, plummet into the thick and drowning liquid of my impossible anger, for it was a cocktail of hatred, hurt, confusion and heartbreak, and though everything was piecing together with taunting edges, I still refused to see the bigger picture and decided that all my rage should be laid upon Rachel Mathews – For out of everything endured, I deserved at least this. 

I can see the fright in her icy eyes, but even she knows that this was surely coming, after all that she had done to me. She just misses my second swing, but I open my fist to catch a chunk of her long hair, pulling her back to me and with a grunt, she falls to her knees and snaps her hand above mine, prying away at my fingers with her polished nails, to stop the sharp pain at her scalp. 

I found some twisted pleasure in seeing the tears pooling down her face, enough to not even realise my own, seeping into my parted lips. But when I finally taste the salt, it awakens the tastebuds upon my tongue, just the same as my mind kicks back into manual and takes over the destruction that my angry autopilot was causing.