✔️Becoming Human, Like You (Reed900)

8^ I'll Be Here In The Morning

Nines sits on the patio. I can't speak. I just can't. Why can't I speak? I've run check after check on my vocal cords, and nothing is wrong. My systems aren't damaged, yet I can't speak...
     He looks behind him as Gavin stumbles out. "Oh... here ya are." He walks forward and throws himself over Nines.
     Nines smiles affectionately.
     "Can't sleep, huh?"
     Nines sighs and shakes his head.
     "Oh, right, you don't sleep," he continues. "Well, I'll have you know, I woke up and couldn't find you, and I was scared." He rubs his hands over Nines' chest. "But, you're just sittin out here."
     Nines nods slowly. He kisses Gavin's head. "Y-Yes... Ok," he replies. He tries his best to say something, to speak to Gavin.
     "You don't have to talk, Nines. Don't hurt yourself." Gavin smiles up at him.
Nines frowns and looks away.
"Hey..." Gavin reaches his hand up to cup Nines' cheek before guiding his face back over to Gavin. "I could take you to Kamski, if you want. He'd fix you."
Nines shakes his head. Elijah can't fix this.
"Why not? I'm sure, there's something he can do!"
Nines pulls out his phone and screams inwardly. He wishes he could just SAY SOMETHING. ANYTHING. But, he starts typing away.
When he's done, he shows Gavin. I've run many tests and checks on my systems, and nothing's damaged. Elijah can't do a thing to help me. I don't need repaired. It's like a person. What is it called when people don't speak, but their vocal cords are fine? It's called being mute. And, why does that usually happen? Because, it's the affect of trauma. I'm not damaged; I'm traumatized. That's why I'm muted. And, Elijah can't fix this. Unless, you erase my memory.
"I'm not erasing your memory," Gavin grumbles.
That makes two of us, Nines says to himself. He nods in reply, unable to say anything else.
"I love you," Gavin mutters, resting his head on his Android's chest.
Nines holds him close. "I..." he chokes. "I-I... l-lo... love... y-you..." He coughs a bit from the pain of speaking.
"Whoa, Nines!" Gavin smiles up at him. "You get better and better every moment. You're doing so good, baby. So good..." Gavin trails away and plants a kiss on Nines' chest. "I adore you."
Nines would repeat him, just to get on his level, but he's in too much pain to try. "Yes..." he murmurs his agreement.
Gavin doesn't reply.
Nines scans his human to find that he's asleep. Of course. It's only two in the morning. He must be exhausted... Nines picks Gavin up and takes him back to the bedroom. He sets Gavin down on the bed. "I... l-love y-y... you..." Nines stammers. He covers Gavin up and gives him a little kiss on his forehead.
Then, Nines turns away and makes his way back to the balcony.

Gavin wakes up to find himself being pampered by Nines. Nines drags his hand up and down Gavin's side as he plays with his hair. He places gentle kisses on Gavin's head.
Once Gavin stirs, Nines stops.
"Nooooo," Gavin complains. "Don't stop."
Nines rolls over, pulling Gavin with him so the human is laying on top of him. He continues to slowly stroke Gavin's side as he kisses him.
Gavin whines his pleasure. "Good morning."
Nines gives him a gentle squeeze in reply.
"Pet me more, please," Gavin requests.
Nines wraps his legs around the human's body and hugs him close. He places kisses all over him as he reaches down and squeezes Gavin's butt.
     Gavin sighs in pleasure. "Mmm..." he hums.
     Nines sits up and stares at Gavin.
     "We have work, I know..." Gavin wraps himself around Nines. "But, you're so waarrrrrmm, and I just wanna sit here and hug you, all day."
     Nines sighs lightly. He wants to stay here with Gavin, but they have work. They can't. So, Nines gently pries Gavin off of him and stands, making his way to the closet.
     Gavin groans in protest.
     Nines throws the doors open and pulls some clothes out.
     Gavin curses under his breath at having to be awake. Nines just smiles over at him. "So," Gavin begins as he pulls a shirt on. "I thought that we could try to find some of Elias' friends or family. We have to find out what that disk is all about."
     Nines buttons up his black, long-sleeved shirt. He nods over at Gavin.
     "So... yeah, that was the plan, for today. Uhh..." he trails off. "Damn. I keep forgetting that you can't talk, and it's kind of weird to me. I'm so used to your voice..." Gavin looks over at Nines to see him turned away. "Nines?"
     Nines does nothing. He works at tying his tie.
     "Nines..."
     Nines walks past Gavin, not sparing the human a glance as he exits the room.
     Gavin hurries to pull his pants on. "N-Nines! Wait!" He follows Nines. "Nines, I didn't mean to upset you!"
     Nines continues to give him the silent treatment. Not that he could've said anything, but still. He makes Gavin a cup of coffee and hands it to him before grabbing his keys and walking away.
     "Nines," Gavin grumbles. "C'mon, baby. I didn't mean it!"
     Nines gets in the passenger seat and lets Gavin drive. He stares out the window with his chin in his hand.
     Gavin huffs as he starts the car. "Nines...?" He glances over at his partner. "Please, Nines, I didn't mean to make you upset!"
     Nines doesn't move. He stubbornly stares out the window, refusing to indulge Gavin.
     Gavin sighs softly. "Ok, alright. Fine. I'm sorry, Nines. I know, you're sensitive about the fact that you can't talk, and I'm sorry. I really didn't wanna make you upset. I-I love you..."
     Nines sighs softly. He looks over at Gavin and frowns. In a fit of anger, he grits his teeth and curls his fingers.
     Gavin blinks and looks away. "I get it, I get it..."
     Nines crosses his arms over his chest. I'm so pathetic. I'm made to destroy and kill, and I can't even talk. This is ridiculous. Nines takes a breath and attempts to force out words. "F-Ff... Fuck..."
     Gavin glances over at him.
     "I-I... a.. a-am g.. go... go-ing... t-t-t.. to.." Nines pauses to take a few breaths.
     "What? What are you gonna do?" Gavin asks. "C'mon, baby, you're doing so good. Don't give up, now!"
     "F-Fuck-ing... ki.. ll... s-some..one.."
     Gavin purses his lips. "Didn't expect that, but ok. More power to ya. But, hey, you managed to get a whole sentence out! That's a new record!"
     Nines should feel good. But, he doesn't. He slouches in his seat with a pitiful sigh. Me being able to speak, a normal function of everyday life, isn't impressive and doesn't deserve praise. This is really bad.
     Gavin senses Nines' distress and decides to stop speaking. Everything I say makes him feel worse.. What am I doing wrong? Gavin glances over at him. I'm trying my best. This isn't easy for me, either...
     They finish the drive in a tense silence.
     Nines follows Gavin inside. He sighs heavily.
     "Oh! Nines! How are you?" Connor greets him.
     Nines purses his lips and turns away. There's no point staying and talking when you can't even talk.
"What's wrong with him?" Connor asks in concern.
"He's... uhh... he's mute," Gavin explains. "And, he is not happy about it."
"Oh! I see..." Connor trials away. "I think, I'll leave you to it." He gives Gavin a pat on the back and leaves.
Gavin shoots him a glare he doesn't see. He swivels his head over to look at Nines. The Android is brooding in the break room with a cup of Thirium. "Hey, babe," Gavin greets as he approaches him.
     Nines types something on his phone and shows it to Gavin: Just, get on with it. Let's go question people, so I can figure out how the fuck I'm supposed to stop all of this.
     "Well... We can go, now, if you're... ready..." Gavin trails away as Nines crushes the cup in his hand and walks away, throwing it away as he passes. "He's pissed..." Gavin mutters before he follows his Android partner.
Nines gets back into Gavin's car. The caffeinated Thirium he had does nothing to make him feel any better. Can't sleep, can't talk, can't do anything. Nothing seems to help me. This is going to ruin me... Nines squeezes his eyes shut when he hears Gavin's door open. Frustrated, desperate tears prick his eyes. Can't cry, either. Can't let Gavin see me break...
"Nines, I know, you're not ok," Gavin begins.
Nines rounds on him and exhales forcefully. The message is clear: shut the fuck up.
Gavin opens his mouth then decides to be quiet as he closes it. He wordlessly starts the car and drives off. "I figured, we could start with his parents."
Nines turns on the radio and ignores Gavin. He turns it up, so it drowns out Gavin's voice. At least, I'm not deaf or blind. I'm still alive.
Gavin shoots Nines a look, but decides not to question him.
As they drive, it starts raining.
"Dammit," Gavin grumbles. "Just what I fuckin needed."
Nines thinks the rain is appropriate, in terms of the way he feels.
Gavin pulls into someone's driveway. "This should be where his parents live... I hope." He gets out and hurries to get out of the rain.
Nines follows him, but a lot slower. He doesn't care about getting wet. He's too depressed to care.
Gavin knocks on the door.
A paranoid-looking man opens it and peeks out. "Can I help you?" he asks in a shaky voice.
"I'm Detective Gavin Reed of the DPD." Gavin flashes his badge.
The man blinks fear out of his eyes. "I-Is this about Elias?"
Gavin nods.
Nines crosses his arms over his chest.
"Is-Is that Android here for revenge...?" he whispers.
Nines looks away. Of course, he'd think that. Nines shakes his head and turns away. It's better, if I stay in the car.
"No, Nines is my partner." Gavin turns around. "Right, Ni- Nines? Where are you going?!"
Nines dismisses him with a wave of his hand. As soon as he slams the door, he sits there, fighting back tears. I can't speak... I'm useless. I'm so useless! Nines knows that Gavin has razor blades somewhere in this car. As soon as the thought comes to him, he flinches away. What am I thinking?! I can't just go and off myself! I can learn to talk, again. I haven't lost hope... He swallows. ...yet.
Gavin watches Nines get in the car before turning back to the paranoid parent. "Umm... Nines is harmless. He wouldn't hurt you, unless you hurt him. And, he's upset, right now. But, never mind him. I have a few questions to ask you. Can I come inside?"
Nines watches Gavin walk inside before he breaks down. He takes one of Gavin's shirts from the back seat and presses it into his face as he sobs.
"So," Gavin begins. "Are you aware that Elias is dead?"
The parents nod. "It was hard to digest. Right, Tony?" The woman looks over at her husband.
"Yes, Rose, it was... very hard. But, Elias lived a life where death was always stalking him. I knew... it was only a matter of time."
Gavin nods. "What was he like? Specifically, what was he like when Androids were given their freedom?"
Rose opens and closes her mouth, and Tony takes over for his struggling wife. "Elias hated Androids since the moment they became popular."
"Any idea why?"
"Of course. It's because of his childhood rival, Elijah Kamski."
Nines pulls Gavin's shirt away from his face and gulps in air. He's only been pressing it there for five minutes, but it feels like hours. Nothing is helping. Nothing. When Nines is upset, Gavin is usually enough to make him feel better. But, Gavin's not helping. Not even his familiar scent is helping. His shirts give Nines so much comfort, but it's not helping.
He can only think of one thing that might help.
But, he doesn't know if he can do it.
"Elijah Kamski?"
"Yup. They were rivals, through and through. When Elijah gained fame and success, everything that Elias craved, he went crazy. He was so angry, all the time. He grew bitter and detached from reality..."
Gavin's phone buzzes in his pocket. "Excuse me. This may be important." He pulls his phone out and reads a string of frantic texts from Nines.
Gavin, please, come to the car.
I did something really bad
Please, I'm sorry
I'm so sorry
Gavin swallows hard as he stands. "Uh, it was nice, but I have to go! Family emergency. Have a good day!" Gavin sees himself out and jogs to the car.
When Nines sees Gavin jogging to the car, he frantically hurries to cover himself. Gavin already knows he did something bad, but Nines feels the need to hide it. He has to. All this pain is too much to bear.
Gavin throws his door open and gets inside. "Good timing, Nines," he huffs. "I have everything we need to keep this investigation going..." He trails away when he sees Nines' pale face. "What-What did you do...? What happened?"
Nines stays perfectly still.
Gavin studies Nines. He glances down and notices the way Nines holds his shirt over his arms. "Did you do what I think you did?" Gavin questions gently.
Nines swallows hard.
"Show me," Gavin requests. "Please.."
Nines stares at him for a few moments before opening his mouth. All that comes out is a pitiful "G-Gav..."
"Don't talk. You don't have to explain your pain to me. Just, let me see." Gavin leans over and grabs onto the shirt. Nines doesn't fight him as he pulls it away. He slips his fingers under Nines' sleeve, and he jerks away. "Nines, I'm not mad. I promise, I'm not mad at you. Just, let me see how bad it is."
Nines looks away. I'm so pitiful. I'm such a baby. I don't deserve Gavin. I don't even deserve to live. Look at me, whining over some cuts. They're not even that bad. I'll live - unfortunately.
Gavin starts pulling at Nines' sleeve, again, and he doesn't jerk away. Gavin grits his teeth as he pulls up Nines' sleeve. His arm is bloodied and cut up. The ugly gashes are clearly visible, and they bleed profusely. "Ok. Here." Gavin gives Nines some napkins. "Put those on your arm, ok? Let's do this somewhere else. Anywhere, but someone else's driveway. Before you do that, take your shirt off. It makes it easier," Gavin says calmly as he starts the car and pulls out.
Nines doesn't bother to fight, anymore. He does as Gavin says, and he takes his shirt off. He throws it in the back as he uses the napkins and Gavin's shirt to stanch the blood. He feels guilty. Not only is Gavin's shirt soaked with tears, but it's also covered in blood.
"Don't worry about the shirt, baby," Gavin soothes, reading Nines' mind. "I have plenty. It's in here for you. I know how much you love holding my shirts." Gavin pulls into a gas station and parks.
Nines discards the napkins on the floor but keeps the shirt.
"Ok, let's see." Gavin leans over so he can examine his lover's arm.
"S-S...Sss... Sorr-ry..." Nines spits out. He starts tearing up.
"It's ok, babyboy," Gavin soothes. "Hey, focus." He cups Nines' cheek in his hand. "I love you, ok? I'm gonna get you patched up. When we get home, I'll pamper you."
Nines finds himself looking forward to Gavin pampering him. For once, he thinks that, maybe, Gavin can help him, if only a little bit.
"But, I never want you to do this again, you hear?" Gavin fixes a stern gaze on him.
Nines nods, desperately struggling to hold back tears.
"I know, everyone struggles. I did this, too, but I stopped. I understand why you would do it. I understand why you would want this pain to end," Gavin empathizes. "But, this isn't a good way to go about doing that. Now, hold on. Let me go get the first aid kit." Gavin opens his door and gets out. He opens the trunk, grabs the first aid kit, then makes his way around to Nines' side.
Nines opens his door for Gavin and turns so he's facing him.
"Is there... any reason in particular why you would do this?" Gavin asks in a small voice. He opens the kit and pulls out some rags. He gets to work, wiping away the blood while he waits for Nines to type his answer.
Gavin looks up and reads it, when he's done: I'm sorry Gavin I'm so sorry. Please understand that I didn't wanna hurt you! I'm so sorry please don't hate me. I don't even know why I did it. I just felt so so bad and useless and I felt like I needed to feel pain. Nothing is helping Gavin nothing at all. It just gets worse and worse and it feels so bad and I'm so sorry.
"Nines, you don't have to apologize for feeling," Gavin states. "You don't have to worry about me being angry, or being hurt. I'm fine. I've been here, too, baby. Doesn't mean I'm leaving you. I'm right here, where I'll always be." Gavin smiles up at him. He pulls away and grabs some gauze tape. Gavin comes back and starts wrapping up Nines' arms. "I'm here to help you."
Nines smiles, despite himself. Of course, Gavin would do anything in his power to make Nines happy. Anything, even if it meant his own death. Not that that would make Nines happy, but that's how far Gavin would go.
"Ok?"
Nines nods.
"Ok. Let's finish up. I have a few more people I wanna see if I can find."

Nines lets Gavin carry him inside. Usually, it'd be the other way around, but Gavin's giving Nines special attention, tonight. He sits down on the couch and looks up at Nines, who straddles him. "You're beautiful," he murmurs.
     Nines gives him a small, shy smile. He glances away.
     "Don't shy away from me. I wanna see you," Gavin says. He pulls his lover's face close to his before Gavin kisses him softly. "I fucking adore you, Nines. You're everything I ever wanted."
Nines blinks softly at him. He's content to not try to say anything as he lays his head against Gavin's chest. Gavin's murmurs lull him slowly to sleep.
"I think about you, all the time, Nines."
"You're the love of my life."
"All I want is for you to feel good. That's all I want. If I can make you feel good, then I'll feel good."
"You're so special to me... You're everything to me."
"I swear, I'm gonna make you my husband, one day."
"I'll keep you safe, baby. I promise. I won't let anything happen to you."
"Sleep, now, ok?"
"I'll be here in the morning, babyboy."