◇Are You Okay?◇ [Hwang Hyunjin X Depressed Reader] (Straykids FF) Completed!

Chapter: 15◇

Y/N's POV:

As I sat in between Hyunjin's legs whilst Chan took care of my wounds. Hissing slightly as he wipes a sensitive cut and bandages it.

Once Chan was going to tend to my wrists, he looked at it for a second and froze. He lifted his head abruptly making me flinch and think 'is his neck okay?'.

"Y/N, these don't look like your other cuts. These look intentional, what happened?" He asked.

Tensing up at the question as I look at my wrist to see the words I carved into my skin.

Fat, Ugly, Pig, Mistake, Nuisance, Bitch, etc.

"Y/N..." Hyunjin called out, noticing me not answering Chan.

"I-it...it was me" I whispered.

Feeling how the once comfortable silence turned awkward and engulfed us like a wet blanket.

"Why?" Chan asked with a stern voice.

Opening my mouth to answer, only to close it again like a fish out of water.

"It's sad to know, that people you care for...wish for death" Hyunjin muttered staring wide eyed at my wrist.

"Y/N, Why?" Chan asked again.

"Some people don't have the best of lives, yes people don't have the perfect life and we all have obstacles to go through at times. But everyone deals with their problems differently" I answered, lowering my head.

"You don't wish for death Y/N! You ask for help, you talk to people!" Hyunjin shouted.

"You don't know what I've been through, do you think people will want to listen to my fucked up life!" I shout back look up at the ceiling with teary eyes.

"I would, I would help you" he answered softly.

"How was I supposed to know that, yes it's not right to bottle up things...but people always judge people. No one can't not judge people. I even judge people" I answered.

Getting no response made me sigh tiredly and lean back into Hyunjin's chest silently apologizing to him for lashing out at him.

Smiling softly when he wraps his arms around my waist.

"But why try to kill yourself?" Chan asked softly whilst wrapping my wrists in bandages.

"My intention is not to die. I only want to divert the emotional pain to physical pain. I don't know...but I really can't deal with my emotions" I whispered. Feeling Hyunjin tighten his grip around me.

"Who did this to you anyway?" He asked.

"My Appa..."

"Why would he do that to his own daughter. What does your mother say-"

"My Eomma died when I was 10" I cut him off with sigh.

"Do you mind telling us how?' Chan asks.

"No, not at all" I smiled softly.

Flashback:

(Y/N: age 10)

It was scary to be at home. I always had to witness my Mother and Father fight with each other. Hearing them shout and scream at each other, it was petrifying.

I was too young at the time to understand, when all of this started. But now I know the reason. We didn't have enough money.

Once everything went downhill, we weren't a family anymore.

It was just Eomma, Appa and I. We were really happy with each other, laughing and having fun...like a normal family.

I was so used to the house being loud with curse words and glass breaking. My mother in her room drowning in the depths of depression. So I couldn't understand why she was there standing out the door.

Waving at me when I just hopped out of the school bus.

"Eomma?" I called out, placing my bag on the couch and looking at my mother with furrowed eyebrows.

"Yes Sweetie?" She answered, looking at me with a sweet and comforting smile.

"Are you okay?" I asked with a confused laugh as her favourite song boomed through the house and brought me into her arms.

Both of us laughing and giggling as we danced through the house with big smiles on our faces.

A few minutes later I was sat down at the dining table doing my homework. My mother humming to a familiar tune as she helps me with some difficult questions.

"Y/N" Eomma called out.

"Mmh?" I hummed looking up at her, pushing my glasses up.

"Just remember Eomma will always help you, okay. I'll always be in your heart" she told me, she kissed my forehead and then walked upstairs.

Not thinking any of it I said a 'love you too' and went back to my homework.

"Eomma! I need help with this question!!" I shouted.

Not getting an answer back I called out again. Flinching when I hear a thud and sounds of knives hitting against each other.

Jumping out of my chair and running upstairs. Screaming and shouting my mother's name as I look through the rooms.

Finally entering the bathroom, I widened my eyes at the horrible sight.

"Eomma!!!" I shouted.

Running to my mother whose neck was slit open. Hearing her drown in her blood as she looks at me with wide eyes.

Watching her point to a piece of paper before lying limp in my arms, her head tilted back as she stares wide eyed at the ceiling.

"Eomma...please...wake up" I whispered with tears running down my cheeks.

Finally picking up the paper and reading the words written:

I'm so sorry my baby. Eomma loves you ♡

Clutching onto the paper as I hear the door open behind me.

"You fucker!!! You killed her"

Turning around to look at my Father glaring at me.

"A-appa I-I-"

I was cut off by a harsh slap as I was pulled away from my dead mother.